fracturarpg | [mingle] the space (april).

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[mingle] the space (april).

interim mingle

( WELCOME BACK, TRAVELERS. )

There's nothing but the clatter of train tracks, and the odd feeling of almost floating.

When you wake, it's hard to tell exactly what it is that you're missing - only that you are. There are pieces that aren't quite right, even if you're not sure where those pieces would normally be. Pieces of what, exactly....? Well, if you had to put a word to it, it would be - yourself, probably. Or did you get something back recently? In addition, characters will find that they've been allowed to bring back souvenirs from this most recent trip - trinkets, nothing violent, but items that can fit in your character's pockets, whether that be sentimental or otherwise.

The place you've found yourself in is strange, certainly. It's probably worth exploring a bit. For those who have been here a while, they might notice some expansions. Though it just as easily seems that the only form of welcome or explanation that you have, comes from nothing more than a slab of marble.

It might've changed since the last time you saw it. Today it reads:

(*´ω｀)o That wasn't so bad, was it?
Hey, you know how that old song goes?
Do you believe in magic? (☆▽☆) Do ya?

Hope you found what you were looking for!

You might have changed since the last time you saw yourself too - perhaps with a new emblem on your clothes, or a portrait on your skin. In addition to that, it seems like Home Base is on the fritz again…?

It seems that suddenly and at random, characters will be able to suddenly see visions of memories that aren't their own flash before their eyes. Pieces of your lives or where you were before this will suddenly slam into other's heads, as clearly as if they experienced the event and the feelings themselves. You might have an inkling of where your memory went and what it was - but you'll need to talk it out with that person in order to recollect it in all its strength back to yourself. Don't you want to keep those precious parts of yourself? It's best if you don't fall more to pieces while you're here. (Memories that have been lost in fragments cannot be sent to others - that's more fun for the future!)

There's no need to fret that much though. You've already gone through the ordeal once, and you might be able to see results from it. Or maybe you'll get a glimpse of where you're going next. Even so, it's best that you don't get too comfortable, because there is still the unshakeable feeling:

There's still much more ahead of you.

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[ gimme the indoctrination

after all, xie lian needs to go see lan wangji and apologize for the accidental murder, Again, for the hundredth time, so he will be seeking him out immediately! ]

[XIE LIAN PLEASE STOP APOLOGIZING FOR THINGS HE DOESN'T REMEMBER I'M CRYING.

Regardless, on his way, he'll get a fun little surprise! JUST KIDDING IT'S TERRIBLE.

It's a very clear memory, even though Lan Wangji is so clearly young here. 17, perhaps, or 18 at the oldest--and yet, his eyes are hard, stubborn, expression as unwavering as ever. He stands alone, defiant against the red and white soldier that holds a lit torch out to him. Other disciples, dressed like Lan Wangji, stand clustered and terrified nearby. They are powerless to help, though, and Lan Wangji does not expect them to.

The soldiers grab him too quickly, before he can fight back, and they break his leg without a moment's hesitation, letting him drop to the ground at the sound of snapping bone. He doesn't make a sound, doesn't give them the satisfaction of his pain--and really, it hurts more that he's too slow to drag himself back to his feet. He can't stop the soldiers from forcing the other Lans to set fire to the Library Pavilion, but he forces himself up anyway, drawing out his guqin and positioning himself between the Pavilion and the soldiers in front of him.

He stands defiant, and fights, even when every last string has snapped, and his fingertips are bloodied and useless. He lets the heat of the fire hold him upright, until finally, the last of his power drains out of his body. His home is ablaze, brother missing, people wounded--Lan Wangji must hold, for all of them. Not because he has any hope of winning, but because he is the only one left to prove that their spirits will not bend.

He passes out, at some point. He does not know who saves him from the fire. When he wakes, his leg is very poorly bound. But he barely has time to feel the pain before a Lan discipline hands him a letter, marked with the seal of Qishan Wen, with trembling hands.]

[ pixi, readying a knife as i foolishly chose a memory

how familiar this scene is--how it aches. xie lian remembers the way xian le looked when he and his family had to flee with terrifying clarity. he knows what it's like to be the last bastion of strength, when the whole world is depending on you, and more than anything--he knows what it's like to fail. the determination that bleeds into desperation. the ache. the loss, so unbelievably large that it threatens to swallow you whole.

back then he'd never been powerless. he hadn't known what it was like until it was too late, and even now, it ebbs and tides at his memories in ways he hasn't been able to put quite away since montevallo. xie lian's heart aches for lan wangji, with a mixture of pride and hurt and empathy, as he stands in the memories that sear a heavy weight onto the shoulders of the young man he'd gotten to know. to keep fighting when all hope is lost is an incredible thing--his respect for lan wangji has only grown since they left that first world, and this solidifies it. a true cultivator, a true member of his family, his home--a truly upstanding, brave young man.

xie lian's feet move while it feels like there are ashes at the edge of his vision still, and it's only when he spots lan wangji's back all in white that he stops, calling out to him as he holds this precious, painful memory that doesn't belong to him, to give it back to its owner, stepping within reach and giving him a hurried fist in hand salute. ] Young master Lan, I-- I have something of yours, I think.

Edited 2020-04-14 00:17 (UTC)

[YOU CHOSE THIS SISI

And just for maximum pain, let's say this is the first time Lan Wangji's lost a memory, so he's a little confused!!! He's been on the other side, though, so at least he's not totally lost.

This is an old memory, though. It's not something he tends to look back on, unless he must--so he can't tell immediately what's missing, even by the look on Xie Lian's face. All he can tell, at first glance, is that whatever Xie Lian's seen, it probably wasn't pleasant.

Which, y'know. Given his life, that could be a lot of things.

His returning bow is no less polite than usual, but there's something cautious in his movements. For now, he stays quiet--his head cants slightly to the side, an open question, but he doesn't demand answers. Whatever it is, he's already lived though it. He can let Xie Lian give it back at his own pace.]

[ well... that's a bit strange. it's not the first time he's run into this odd little curse--naturally, it seeks him out, because he's xie lian and life is that way. he gives lan wangji a smile that's not quite there, a bit apologetic. xie lian doesn't like this curse. as someone with a long, long life full of memories he'd rather forget, the idea of anyone seeing them makes him uneasy, but it would be crueler to take such things permanently. ] Earlier today, something similar happened with San Lang. I--saw a bit of his memory, and we had to talk about it before he was able to remember it at all.

Please excuse me for the recollection of something that must be painful. [ he ducks his head, and speaks softly, though it's firm. there are many details that are still ringing as fresh as fresh can be in his mind. ] Your home is the place called Gusu Lan, correct? I saw you protecting it valiantly from an invasion to the last.

[ ...but sometimes, it's a little gentler, to ease people into suffering. xie lian has seen so much of it. things such as this should be handled with compassion. ]

[Ah.

Well, Xie Lian won't have to go into too much detail. There's recognition in his eyes almost immediately, because he may not remember the attack itself, but he remembers--

--the panicked warnings of a disciple, who'd still had the mind to apologize for running and yelling within their walls--

--the way he'd been tasked with going to his father's cottage, to beg him to emerge and take cover before the Wens arrived, to no avail--

--one last glimpse of his brother, before he disappeared with their most sacred texts--]

The Wens.

[ the wens... like wen ning. certainly not a coincidence. there are deeper things that go far beyond such a memory, and xie lian folds his hands back into his sleeves, quietly setting that aside for later. ]

En. [ he nods in agreement, though, trying to make sure he doesn't forget a single detail of the memory that's not his own, and gives him a small smile, going for comforting. ] Your courage was truly admirable, young master Lan. You have my deepest condolences, for the loss you must have suffered.

[LIKE WEN NING... the connection only occurs to Lan Wangji after he's said it, and he chastises himself for being careless with his words, but... well. Xie Lian would've known it from the memory anyway. And Xie Lian has proven that he's not particularly judgmental--he doesn't seem the type to withdraw his fondness for Wen Ning, just because of this.

He dips his head, as if to demur the praise--and lowers it further, then, to accept, even though it feels strangely... hollow. It always does, though of course he hasn't had to speak of this in years.

Even now, he doesn't understand why he'd cried over his father in that cave.

Humility is ingrained in him, but it wouldn't be fair to his people to say that they were fortunate. Denying that they'd suffered is, in essence, rejecting everything it took them to rebuild. And it is not for Lan Wangji to assume how much, or little, others suffered.]

My father was Sect Leader. My older brother was tasked with saving our sacred texts. He went into hiding.

[In other words: who else could do it, but him?

His tone is just as even as ever, as he speaks of it. It isn't that he doesn't consider himself brave, nor does he think that it's what anyone else would have done--he knows, firsthand, how people inherently seek to save themselves. It's just difficult to feel... anything, really, when he thinks of other people, so much braver than himself.

I know it didn't amount to nothing, what I've done, but it also does not feel like enough. Shinobu's voice, unbidden, comes to mind. He's quiet, for a minute, letting it fade.]

It was one of many incidents that led to war. We were able to rebuild in time to support the rebellion.

[ xie lian nods, the sense of duty familiar, too. the tale of thousands an thousands of human beings, of cultivators, the way filial piety and duty seem to weigh on their shoulders. xie lian had been poor at his own, because his duty to the heavens felt more important than the ones of his father, the further and further he'd gone in his human life, but it's not unfamiliar. as the guoshi of fang xin, he watched lang qiang qiu grow under the same difficulty, flourish until he was cut free of his family by the slice of a sword, even when xie lian tried to hold it together for him. (by then, it had been too late.)

xie lian has seen much suffering, but he's seen much bravery, too, and it's the latter by which he chooses to focus, that guides his praise. every human being has the unique capacity to be something special, but lan wangji, in many ways, seems to stand out among that crowd. he doesn't bring up the quiet, or the dip of his head. even the most important of duties could be shirked by cowardice, and no one could blame a person in that memory for their fright.

he nods his head in understanding, hands folding into his sleeves, allowing lan wangji his silence. ] I see. [ and that relieves a bit of worry in his heart. xie lian would hate for him to have suffered. he'd hate to see those terrified disciples put to death--hoped sincerely that many survived the war, and outlived their tragedies. ] And your brother...?

[His brother...

The thought of him comes with an ache that Lan Wangji is painfully accustomed to, but only in relation to another. He can count on one hand the number of times he has been away from his brother long enough to miss him, and none of them were pleasant circumstances.

The pillar claims that time has stopped, in their worlds--but is that true? If it isn't, is his brother safe? Not just physically; he's been with Jin Guangyao this entire time, after all. Lan Xichen worries about him, more than Lan Wangji really thinks he should. But the same can be said for him. At the end of it all, there is no one who understands them better than they understand each other.]

He is Sect Leader now. [Still alive, in other words.] He and his sworn brothers are known as the Venerated Triad. [Except that one of them is dead at the hands of the other, oops.] The war ended nearly 15 years ago. [His gaze stays downturned, as does his mouth; he's not frowning outright, but he looks... troubled, at best.] The Wens were almost entirely eradicated.

[ almost. well. he can put two and two together, thinking about the wen who currently resides with them--must not be a coincidence.

wars, deaths, families and sects. it doesn't matter what's going on--some things never change. though never a member of a sect himself, for the most part, he understands, and dips his head in the recognition. it's heartening to hear that they recovered, at least, and he feels for lan wangji's loss, as sympathetic as he has always been.

fifteen years is a long time, for a human, isn't it? he makes a soft noise of recognition, then offers him a smile, to lighten the troubled mood just a little, hands clasping together. ] Young master Lan, you're a bit older than I thought! You must truly be an excellent cultivator, though that isn't surprising.

[ praise praise praise ] Your brother sounds much the same. I hope you will be able to return to--Gusu Lan, you said, correct? I hope you'll be able to return soon. Perhaps when all is over, I'll come to visit.

[ arguably, that's not an entirely unlikely outcome. no matter what time period of ancient fantasy china lan wangji is from, ostensibly, xie lian is still alive in it..........being unkillable really be like that ]

Mm. I am 35 years old.

[AT LEAST THAT ONE I KNOW FOR SURE.

All this praise, though... it's not like Lan Wangji's unaccustomed to it, but there's something different about hearing it from Xie Lian, who's surely lived long enough to see far more heroic deeds than anything he's done. It feels far more sincere than the praise he gets from his peers, or even his family--he's not quite sure what to do with it, but it works to distract him from his wartime regrets, at any rate.

The idea of going home is... bittersweet. The fact of the matter is, he is unwilling to leave Wei Wuxian's side ever again, even if Wei Wuxian wants to send him away. And Wei Wuxian has made his feelings about the Cloud Recesses incredibly clear. If Wei Wuxian doesn't want to return, then Lan Wangji won't either. And as much as he spends time roaming the country, looking for ways to help people in need, he always does so with the security of home waiting at the end of it all. (Then again, he can't think too much about Wei Wuxian willingly returning to the Cloud Recesses with him, either. But that's a very different problem.)

Either way, he has unfinished business to take care of. It's not something to plan for right now.]

It may be best to wait. [It would be nice, though. He certainly wouldn't turn him away. Maybe Xie Lian could even help him comfort his brother--Lan Wangji has not yet lived through the events of Guanyin Temple, but he knows for sure that whatever happens, it will not be an easy thing to accept.] We are not at war, but change is coming.

[Jin Guangyao sure isn't going to be Chief Cultivator anymore, that much he can say for sure. Public opinion has already turned against him, beyond the point of salvation--Lan Wangji's seen this before, and he won't even be surprised if he sees it again, after Jin Guangyao is handled.

He sighs, very quietly, and looks at Xie Lian.] Daozhang, may I ask you a question?

[ it's a problem that you're an idiot, lwj,

anyway. he nods his agreement to waiting--though, really, if this place was suffering, and he knew of a friend there, xie lian would do his best to get there as fast as possible. with the ghost bridegroom dealt with, his merits paid off, and only chores to do at puji shrine, a brief visit to this cloud recesses to help an old friend with another terrible war would be no skin off of his back. change coming can be good, or bad, and he hopes for lan wangji it's better.

but! ah, before his thoughts can wander too far away, he's drawn back in. hands folded together in his sleeve, xie lian addresses him properly, offering lan wangji a small smile. ] Of course, Young Master Lan. If I can answer something, I'd be happy to.

[ ask away!!!! ]

[STOP HE'S NOT

But even though he's the one who asked, Lan Wangji takes a little while to say anything more. His gaze flicks away once again, but not so much out of nervousness or embarrassment--it's a quiet that comes from Lan Wangji trying to organize his thoughts.

Eventually, softly--]

Do people change?

[He doesn't mean it in an individual sense. He's seen the evidence of that for himself. He is, in fact, living proof that they can. He is no longer the boy he was before Wei Wuxian clambered cheerfully over his literal and metaphorical walls.

No, this is a question for a god. For someone who has lived 800 years, watching centuries of humans converging and falling apart again and again. Do people ("humans" to Xie Lian, he supposes), as an entity, ever make progress for the better? Or do they simply go in circles, so caught up in their cravings for power that they fail to see they've advanced nowhere?

The answer will not sway his actions. But knowledge is an earthly temptation, and he has long since accepted his weakness to those.]

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[mingle] the space (april).

memshare baby

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me frantically handwaving mdzs timelines

that is extremely relatable

mxtx, crying: no dates

its the crying girl yelling at the cat meme

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