[mingle] the space (april).

[fracturamods]

interim mingle

( WELCOME BACK, TRAVELERS. )

There's nothing but the clatter of train tracks, and the odd feeling of almost floating.

When you wake, it's hard to tell exactly what it is that you're missing - only that you are. There are pieces that aren't quite right, even if you're not sure where those pieces would normally be. Pieces of what, exactly....? Well, if you had to put a word to it, it would be - yourself, probably. Or did you get something back recently? In addition, characters will find that they've been allowed to bring back souvenirs from this most recent trip - trinkets, nothing violent, but items that can fit in your character's pockets, whether that be sentimental or otherwise.

The place you've found yourself in is strange, certainly. It's probably worth exploring a bit. For those who have been here a while, they might notice some expansions. Though it just as easily seems that the only form of welcome or explanation that you have, comes from nothing more than a slab of marble.

It might've changed since the last time you saw it. Today it reads:

(*´ω｀)o That wasn't so bad, was it?
Hey, you know how that old song goes?
Do you believe in magic? (☆▽☆) Do ya?

Hope you found what you were looking for!

You might have changed since the last time you saw yourself too - perhaps with a new emblem on your clothes, or a portrait on your skin. In addition to that, it seems like Home Base is on the fritz again…?

It seems that suddenly and at random, characters will be able to suddenly see visions of memories that aren't their own flash before their eyes. Pieces of your lives or where you were before this will suddenly slam into other's heads, as clearly as if they experienced the event and the feelings themselves. You might have an inkling of where your memory went and what it was - but you'll need to talk it out with that person in order to recollect it in all its strength back to yourself. Don't you want to keep those precious parts of yourself? It's best if you don't fall more to pieces while you're here. (Memories that have been lost in fragments cannot be sent to others - that's more fun for the future!)

There's no need to fret that much though. You've already gone through the ordeal once, and you might be able to see results from it. Or maybe you'll get a glimpse of where you're going next. Even so, it's best that you don't get too comfortable, because there is still the unshakeable feeling:

There's still much more ahead of you.

Comments

[bywolves]

[ royce scowls, at that. it's the only thing visible under his hood. ]

It isn't right. [ royce echoes. ] You do not deserve what was done to you.

[ royce thinks he probably does deserve what was done to him, but he's not going to go into detail about that. ]

[deadened]

[oh-- he appreciates it, glancing back to royce there, but-]

Neither do you.

[for all that his tone is soft, there's still a firmness to it. he doesn't care if royce has said before that he's done terrible things-- no one deserves it. no one should ever have grown up that way.]

[bywolves]

[ he wonders if wen ning saw the shit he's done he'd still feel the same way. he doesn't want to think about that, so he just looks up at wen ning, solemnly. ]

Mm. [ that's about as much as he can manage. it's a thank you, even if he doesn't agree. he's ruined a lot of people, a lot of lives; it makes sense to him that life would take everything from him in return. balance.

for now, he just links their fingers and is quiet. he can allow himself this much, he thinks. a moment where he isn't waiting for pain. ]

[deadened]

[wen ning has seen a lot and his opinion would NOT change thanks!! but he accepts the response, growing more used to reading royce; that's all the answer he needs, the quiet and the continued acceptance of closeness, even if they're not as close as they have been before.

and then something slips, once more.

this time, it's a memory royce is on the other side of, one he knows as well as wen ning-- but from another perspective, one with less depth perception. roses on the desk, nervousness until royce finally admits to them; a sunny, warm fondness at how wen ning thinks it's cute. that he's cute. sweeter than wen ning would have expected when they met, more important than he ever thought.

he'll get to feel exactly how nervous wen ning was when they finally talked, finally making an admission of his own, the fear there along with an inability to stay quiet any longer-- and the sheer relief there is. the warmth. how happy he is, how much something small like the kiss against his hand makes him think he wants more.

there's an alarming amount of restraint, considering how badly wen ning wants to kiss him properly in that moment. more than anything else-- but he wants to keep him close. doesn't want to push anything. so he doesn't act, fully content with what he has, because it's so much more than he ever thought he could get. because he really thinks he just might be in love, and he'd be happy with anything.

--then back in the present, he blinks, concerned.]

Again? Was it-- bad?

[the last thing royce needs right now is more of his trauma.]

[bywolves]

[ oh. wow.

it takes him a long moment to really digest all of that, and he looks - vaguely alarmed? royce stares at wen ning for a long moment, still and skittish, and tries to sort through his own feelings. it doesn't necessarily carry over, but still... still. ]

I - no.

[ it wasn't bad? necessarily. just. wow. ]

You felt. Very strongly about me. In Montevallo.

[deadened]

[oh. oh, definitely not bad, but-- wen ning looks alarmed for a moment too, color rising to his cheeks at the realization.]

It-- was from then-?

[it doesn't necessarily carry over, no-- but he does know what those feelings were like. why he had them. he doesn't think their other selves are really all that different.

still, he really never meant to say anything about how it was for him then, and he's at a loss for just what else to say to that.]

I... well, we did know each other for some time, and a lot h-happened, and...

What-- what was it?

[bywolves]

[ they're sitting here holding hands and royce is still shocked about how it was in montevallo. he's stupid. he's so emotionally stupid. ]

When I... ah, got you roses. Before everything ended, when we were in your room. [ is that a slight flush on royce's face? maybe. ] You're right. A lot did happen.

[ he shifts awkwardly. ] I didn't know I was that important to you, then.

[deadened]

[he exhales a slight laugh at that, because he can't help it. of course royce was that important.]

I wouldn't... ask you to stay with me if you weren't important to me.

[or tell him how he wanted him there, or that he wanted him to keep bringing flowers like that. he made that space theirs for a reason.]

[bywolves]

[ just internal shrieking forever thanks ]

I don't get people asking me to stay. [ he says, lamely, and then he clears his throat, looking away again. god. emotions are hard. ]

... I don't stay unless it's important.

[deadened]

You've-- had one now, at least.

[he smiles a little at those words, gaze dropping to their linked hands. a part of him thinks maybe he should ask if royce would stay with him here, too, if he asked, but...

well. it's different. maybe he shouldn't. instead he just says, softly-]

I couldn't... appreciate everything as much, in the last place. It's nice.

[the contact, he means, thanks to his condition there. it sounds a little lame to him as he says it, but.]

[bywolves]

[ the hood tilts back just a little so wen ning can see the twitch of royce's lips. ]

I know. [ royce says, watching wen ning with that same soft look he doesn't know he's wearing. ] I'm enjoying that you're enjoying it now.

[ a pause. maybe a bit hesitantly: ] I'm enjoying this. In... general.

[deadened]

[that soft look is going to kill him a second time, thanks! his own smile softens, there, warm and fond.]

...I am, too.

[a pause, and:]

It's not... too strange for you, because of our-- other selves?

[bywolves]

It is strange. [ royce says, with a slight wrinkle of his nose. ]

But. Despite that. [ more hesitation. ] I'd like to have something nice, for once.

[ oh - hey, here's a return memory! of roof date.

the locks glitter over the river, and royce catches wen ning sneaking a glance at him, and royce - his chest tightens, and he smiles, despite himself. it's a confusing, overpowering feeling, affection so bright that it almost makes him tear up. it's so much, all at once.

maybe we can do this more often, wen ning suggests, and royce thinks yes, every day, if you'd have me. wen ning tucks his hair behind his ear, and everything in royce wants to reach over to touch, to untuck his hair just so he can tuck it behind wen ning's ear himself.

he wants. and always, he takes when he wants, but this time - this time he doesn't think he deserves it. doesn't think wen ning deserves it. so he doesn't reach out, but his chest burns fiercely. it's not love, not yet, but it could be. ]

[deadened]

['i'd like to have something nice for once,' he says, and wen ning feels like his pulse skips a little along with it. it's not too much, maybe.

but then there's the memory, and if he thought his heart rate was already up, it absolutely is now. royce is sometimes easier for him to read, but knowing just what he's feeling still tends to be difficult; the force of that affection is a lot, and he thinks that if royce had just said so aloud then of course he'd have agreed to every day.

if he knew that was what royce felt when he looked at him, he would have done a few things differently in that life-- whether that feeling was love or not. he's stunned into silence for a few moments, before he exhales a breath, giving royce a somewhat curious look.]

I-- didn't know that you felt that way back then, either.

[and then, realizing he should clarify:]

Ah... Montevallo, again. When I took you to the roof of that building.

[bywolves]

[ oh, shit. right, yeah. he remembers the pangs of affection and gratitude more clearly now, and has to take a deep breath. ]

I did. Yes. You were... [ he shifts. ] You paid attention.

[ just like royce in prom world. sometimes that's what it takes. ]

[deadened]

I wanted to. For you.

[for everyone, naturally, but for royce more than most. he wanted to know what would make him happy, how to be his friend, how to try to get him to smile. how to be close.]

...if I'd realized sooner, I wouldn't have waited so long.

[he held back because he was too uncertain of royce's feelings, like he did at the school, like he's doing now.]

[bywolves]

[ there's - so much going on in royce's head right now. he has no idea what to do with himself here, other than just hold onto wen ning's hand. ]

Waited so long. [ royce repeats, with a rueful little smile. he holds a little tighter, shifting to face wen ning. ] Waited so long for what?

[deadened]

...to say anything to you.

[his smile at that is a little sheepish, though, as he adds-]

I-it was probably obvious before then, but...

[bywolves]

[ royce huffs out a laugh, and then, very carefully, reaches up to push his hood back. his hair is down! it's kind of a mess. whatever. ]

Mm. Not to me. I assume most people don't care much for me, if they don't outright hate me. [ that's so casual, like it's just a fact of life. ] I know that you don't. But it is still... difficult. To know how far it goes.

[deadened]

[his smile brightens a little there, pleased. it's always good to see royce more comfortable.]

I'm used to-- assuming the same.

[considering his reputation as the ghost general and the fact he was clearly a fierce corpse, it was generally a safe assumption to make.]

And I know it isn't that way with most people here, but it's hard for me to know, too.

[there's a little moment of hesitation, there, fingers twitching against royce's like he almost moves their linked hands, but doesn't in the end.]

[bywolves]

[ he sort of wishes they weren't sitting in the middle of the food court but it's fine. maybe they can go for a walk or something. ]

Well. [ he says, softer. he glances at their hands, when he feels wen ning's fingers twitch, but doesn't question it. ] I don't do this with anybody. So I suppose you don't need to wonder too hard.

[deadened]

[THEY REALLY ARE STILL SITTING IN THE FOOD COURT, just holding hands. god. wen ning seems to belatedly realize this, too, glancing around with a faint flush before he stands. he doesn't let go of royce's hand, just sort of keeping hold and waiting to see if royce will come with him or if he'll drop the contact.]

...n-neither do I. Should we, um-- we can move if you want?

[he does remember royce being hesitant about handholding in public in montevallo.]

[bywolves]

[ a pause, and then: ] I'd be fine with that.

[ as far as he's concerned, it's his and wen ning's business and nobody else's. he doesn't want to hear anything from anybody, so he's happy to move. ]

Where do you want to go?

[deadened]

[he did not

think that far through.

it maybe shows in his hesitance, how he stalls for an answer, before:]

The bar?

[is it just because they talked about montevallo, maybe so.]

[bywolves]

[ royce huffs out a laugh. ]

Mm. Bar it is. The airport is also a nice place to sit. [ he likes watching the snow, in the same way he liked watching the locks. ]