osuni: (sits)
okuni kumou ([personal profile] osuni) wrote in [community profile] fracturarpg2020-02-02 09:47 pm

world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

WHO: baren, okuni, boose the moose, and all partygoers
WHERE: Koi Pond
WHEN: 2/02
WHAT: the twins decide to throw their birthday party two days after that date auction despite all the chaos and kidnappings going on, and also okuni is supposed to be grounded but they let her out for her birthday ig. now everyone is trapped in this bar and forced to mingle.
WARNINGS: there's nudity?? but not like explicit ig, otherwise none



Everyone has most definitely received a cursed invitation in the form of a.) baren reaching out to the Mori and Neutral-aligned residents of Montevallo and b.) Okuni nagging everyone in the Xian Le and associated with the Xian Le, but REGARDLESS OF WHICH ONE YOU GET it all boils down to someone having a party at the Koi Pond tonight.

And what a party it is.

Whether you're unfortunate enough to arrive right on time or you stroll on in to stare at your surroundings like that community.gif, you'll see that the Koi Pond is decked lavishly with balloons on the wall and streamers on the floor and bright lights just about everywhere so no introverts can escape. There are tables loaded with food free of motor oil and pickle juice, music being played by a real live band, a photographer who is making it his job to get very close and in your face at every opportune moment, and a group of dancers decked with strands of pearls and feather fans and nothing much else (this is a co-ed dance troupe, we're equal opportunity here)! They sure are distracting, but they're not even close to the main attraction, no --

The real highlight of this night is Boose the Moose, wearing a glittery paper crown and placidly stepping inside the bar with two figures riding astride on top of him. yeah. it's Baren and Okuni on top their loyal steed, waving their hands at their guests like this was all planned and an elaborate attempt to trap the entire town of Montevallo in one bar.


But before you try shooting them off the moose, take the time to try a piece from the gigantic birthday cake laying resplendent on the table that has the words HAPPY BAPPY TWINS inscribed on the top!!! Incredible! Amazing!! Feel free to have a taste -- each tier is a different flavor, and some tiers are more unfortunate than others.

Now that you've found yourself enclosed in a space with either people from your enemy faction or people from two factions on the outs with one another, please take the time to greet either of the Demon Twins of Montevallo, each holding two pairs of handcuffs in each hand and gazing expectantly towards you. That or mingle at will, because someone locked the doors and windows and slid two iron bars through the handles!!

Just give up and have a good time at this terrible party... Indulge in some icebreakers!
- a plastic jar filled with strips of paper with world-breaking questions such as: If you were trapped in a burning building and could only save one person, would it be your family or your lover? or If you had to pick someone to be the last person on earth with you, would you pick Wei Wuxian or Kano? or just variations of Fuck, Marry, or Kill with different names on each slip
- a human sized dartboard for people to stand in front of and get hit by plastic darts
- the handcuff icebreaker where okuni or baren just handcuff you to someone that you now have to spend time with

As the night comes to a close, Baren and Okuni will take pity on their guests by opening the doors, just in time to set off twenty two fireworks in rapid succession right outside the bar itself.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* HAPPY TWENTY-SECOND BAPPY TWINS!!! *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
souheki: (suspicious)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-06 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
[Double pats!! This is excellent.

The pats mollify him enough to follow, though he only loosens his grip enough to make sure Wei Wuxian's comfortable--or, well. As comfortable as he can be, with one of his hands commandeered. But of course this can't go that easily; as soon as they get close to the bench, he stops, digging his heels in like a rebellious child. He's also glaring? At the bench?? WHY.]
givethemhell: (who is this)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-06 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[WHY INDEED????

Wei Wuxian jerks a little when he tries to move forward and suddenly finds that he can't, glancing back toward Lan Wangji. What the fck stopped him-- Why is he glaring?? He follows his line of sight to the bench, brow furrowing immediately in confusion.]


...Do you want to sit at another bench? Is that what it is?
souheki: (face washing)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-06 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
[The real reason here is that every time Wei Wuxian sits him down on this bench, he ends up leaving, if only for a little bit. So now, his drunken brain has dubbed this the "Wei Wuxian Goes Away bench". He doesn't like it when Wei Wuxian leaves, so he doesn't like this bench. SIMPLE LOGIC.

Also, if they're going on a quest for a bench, that means Wei Wuxian's going to hold his hand some more. Perfect! Exactly what he wants!]


Mm.

[Time to reject every bench in the whole building]
givethemhell: (wish i could remember)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-06 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
[oh my god i fuckin hate this

There's no way in hell Wei Wuxian would ever make the logical leap necessary to figure Lan Wangji's drunken mental gymnastics out, though, so he just chalks it up to... drunk people doing whatever they want, whenever they want, for literally no reason. Just like toddlers!]


Alright, let's go find you a better bench.

[AWAY HE GOES, leading Lan Wangji by the hand. He'll try to find one that looks a little more comfortable?? Maybe the other one was too-- lacking in cushions. Once he finds one with a few pillows, he points with his free hand.]

There! How about that?
souheki: (dragging off)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-06 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
No.

[He's not even pretending to look at it]
givethemhell: (ergh)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-06 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[He can feel a headache forming...]

Lan Zhan, you didn't even look! If you won't even do that, then I'll just pick a bench at random.
stressweets: She showed me that the power of friendship is a magical force indeed. And that in turning away from others, you hurt yourself as well. (076. shadow play)

[personal profile] stressweets 2020-02-06 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO he has to end himself now. bye. ]

.......I am so sorry. [ hold on. let him. He's going, briefly, to get some napkins, and he will wipe that off of Minato for him. ] Please forgive me. From the bottom of my heart, I didn't mean to spit it on you.
stressweets: . Always expect the best from your friends and never assume the worst. Rest assured that a good friend always has your best interests at heart. (063. party of one)

[personal profile] stressweets 2020-02-06 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He would've picked Wei Wuxian anyway, on the caveat they didn't eat anything spicy. ]

They really are. [ Their best......... Whatever their best entails... Being fair, it's a pretty fun party. Tsukasa can't look at the girls for too long, because they're indecent, but it's. Fun. Just fine and fun. ] Do you think they cater?





[ HE'S JOKING HE IS NOT GOING TO ASK THEM TO DO HIS PARTY. ]
souheki: (馬鹿馬鹿しい)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-07 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Hm... is that what he wants? No, if Wei Wuxian picks a bench, then he might, y'know. Actually pick one. And that is not the actual goal of this adventure.

So he stares at the bench for a good thirty seconds, then looks back at Wei Wuxian.]


No.

[Better?]
infinitesadness: ([17])

[personal profile] infinitesadness 2020-02-07 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ this is honestly the greatest part about the entire cursed party. thank you for this moment, he’s treasuring this memory forever.

that being said, an incredulous eyebrow arches, obi-wan suddenly grateful for the beard hiding the twitch of his mouth. ]


Is that right? I take it he’ll be quite cross, hm?
infinitesadness: Area Man A Walking Encyclopedia of Everything Except Leading A Normal Life ([01])

[personal profile] infinitesadness 2020-02-07 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ honestly, if he had tried obi-wan would have probably left him to the wolves. that’s one conversation he needs to part in, darling former apprentice or not. ]

It seems there is still much you have to learn.

[ is all he says quietly, keeping an eye out on their surroundings. a glance around when it’s empty enough and obi-wan turns back with both brows raised. what even was with that display? surely he's taught you better methods to demur than that? ]
givethemhell: (anime tch)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-07 08:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ONLY MARGINALLY BETTER. He gestures again, but with more feeling!!]

Why? Why not? What's wrong with this bench - it's a perfectly good one! Look, see? There are even cushions! What more could you want from a bench?

[PLEASE!! He'll have to start hunting down tables at this rate, if not even this pinky-out comfort bench is good enough.]
givethemhell: (make you a star)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-07 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
[In a post-apocalyptic world where only the two of them survived, there'd probably only be cans of spam to eat. Tragic...

What's not tragic is Baren and Okuni becoming party planners, though! He thinks that's a great idea! A joke?? Haha. NOT ANYMORE.]


You should ask! I'd bet they would love to. But knowing them, they would either want to make sure that no other party could out-do theirs, or they would constantly be trying to top themselves. We'd probably get into questionable law-breaking territory sooner rather than later, haha.

[Imagine Tsukasa having to arrest guests at his own party.]
dianxias: (15.)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-02-07 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
From you, as always. [ politely, which may have just been the nicest, sweetest way to say "you're good at rejecting your fangirls teach me" ever?

at least he's safe and away from it now. xie lian seems to relax, his shoulders loosening as he glances one last time back behind them, and then back at his master's face. ]
...I'm not sure what sort of 'entertainment' I was expecting.

[ why was it this ]
ittoryu: (sprite - surprised.)

drunk........

[personal profile] ittoryu 2020-02-07 02:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[why is lan wangji staring at him??? he hasn't done anything wrong??? besides, like, bid on him in wei wuxian's name, but lan wangji doesn't need to know that. anyway, it's helping him!!]

Er... Lan Wangji? Are you all right?
ittoryu: (sprite - laugh2.)

b

[personal profile] ittoryu 2020-02-07 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[rip tsukasa]

Hahaha! Thank you for letting me know which one to avoid.
infinitesadness: This Shit Again ([13])

[personal profile] infinitesadness 2020-02-07 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[ obi-wan's return expression says absolutely sees what he didn't say, and replies with he’d rather not have to deal with them but for the sake of a teaching moment, he might be persuaded. later though. when he's had more wine. ]

Given the twins, one should always expected the unexpected.

[ also the fact that you can and will feel your soul age 20 years as their combined gremlin. ]
souheki: (drunk)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-08 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
No. Haku is good.

[Even shitfaced beyond belief, and even after the whole "kidnapping" debacle, he still has faith in his son. It's just...]

Too much like me. Wei Ying can [grind his gears, talk circles around him, taunt him into doing things he would never do normally because Wei Wuxian is just Like That] alter his judgment.

[SO WHY ISN'T HIDING THE BOOZE FROM WEI WUXIAN THEN]
Edited 2020-02-08 01:10 (UTC)
souheki: (who's there)

I'm so sorry shigure

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-08 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Don't worry, Shigure, your secret is still safe. It also probably didn't even work. Thanks, fanservice grannies.

EITHER WAY that's apparently not what he's thinking about.]


Looking for Okuni.

[bad]
ittoryu: (g - hip.)

weeps

[personal profile] ittoryu 2020-02-08 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. What did she do this time?
souheki: (tmi)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-08 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[His initial reaction is to just fuckin ignore everything Wei Wuxian's saying, maybe clap his hands over his ears, but Wei Wuxian's threat of just choosing somewhere random still hangs over his head, and he doesn't want to risk that. So he looks back at the bench, frowning.]

Too big.

[FOR WHAT]
souheki: (s2)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-08 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
Abducted Haku.

[DURING THE DATE AUCTION... he's had a full day during which he was convinced to Not Murder Her but now he's drunk and obviously not over it, so. Yeah.]
givethemhell: (wish i could remember)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-08 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[YEAH HE'LL MAKE GOOD ON HIS THREAT, DON'T TEST HIM!!

He's also just looking increasingly more perplexed. Too big??]


What do you mean? They don't make benches much smaller than this. Do you want a bar stool?
souheki: (loquats)

[personal profile] souheki 2020-02-08 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
No.

[HE REALLY IS A TODDLER everything is just "no"

He removes one of his hands from Wei Wuxian's just long enough to gesture at the bench, as if that's supposed to help at all.]


Too big.

[What he means is that there's room for more than just him and Wei Wuxian on this bench, which is not at all what he wants!! He doesn't want anyone bothering them!!!

It occurs to him, though, that he doesn't actually need to explain this. He can walk? He's walking just fine? Why is he letting Wei Wuxian lead...]


Come. I will look.

[It wasn't a question, he's just dragging Wei Wuxian off now. He's going for the stairs to Baren's attic apartment again,,]
givethemhell: (hm hm)

[personal profile] givethemhell 2020-02-08 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
[AWAY HE'S DRAGGED goodbye cruel world... He at least just accepts it with an over-dramatic sigh and doesn't seem to have any qualms until he sees where they're heading. WHY IS HE SO FIXATED ON BAREN'S POOR APARTMENT.]

--A bench down here, Lan Zhan. There's nowhere to sit up there, stop that - unless it's the stairs you want to sit on, but those aren't comfortable at all!

[Maybe that's what Lan Wangji is after, though??]

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