world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

[osuni]

WHO: baren, okuni, boose the moose, and all partygoers
WHERE: Koi Pond
WHEN: 2/02
WHAT: the twins decide to throw their birthday party two days after that date auction despite all the chaos and kidnappings going on, and also okuni is supposed to be grounded but they let her out for her birthday ig. now everyone is trapped in this bar and forced to mingle.
WARNINGS: there's nudity?? but not like explicit ig, otherwise none



Everyone has most definitely received a cursed invitation in the form of a.) baren reaching out to the Mori and Neutral-aligned residents of Montevallo and b.) Okuni nagging everyone in the Xian Le and associated with the Xian Le, but REGARDLESS OF WHICH ONE YOU GET it all boils down to someone having a party at the Koi Pond tonight.

And what a party it is.

Whether you're unfortunate enough to arrive right on time or you stroll on in to stare at your surroundings like that community.gif, you'll see that the Koi Pond is decked lavishly with balloons on the wall and streamers on the floor and bright lights just about everywhere so no introverts can escape. There are tables loaded with food free of motor oil and pickle juice, music being played by a real live band, a photographer who is making it his job to get very close and in your face at every opportune moment, and a group of dancers decked with strands of pearls and feather fans and nothing much else (this is a co-ed dance troupe, we're equal opportunity here)! They sure are distracting, but they're not even close to the main attraction, no --

The real highlight of this night is Boose the Moose, wearing a glittery paper crown and placidly stepping inside the bar with two figures riding astride on top of him. yeah. it's Baren and Okuni on top their loyal steed, waving their hands at their guests like this was all planned and an elaborate attempt to trap the entire town of Montevallo in one bar.

But before you try shooting them off the moose, take the time to try a piece from the gigantic birthday cake laying resplendent on the table that has the words HAPPY BAPPY TWINS inscribed on the top!!! Incredible! Amazing!! Feel free to have a taste -- each tier is a different flavor, and some tiers are more unfortunate than others.

Now that you've found yourself enclosed in a space with either people from your enemy faction or people from two factions on the outs with one another, please take the time to greet either of the Demon Twins of Montevallo, each holding two pairs of handcuffs in each hand and gazing expectantly towards you. That or mingle at will, because someone locked the doors and windows and slid two iron bars through the handles!!

Just give up and have a good time at this terrible party... Indulge in some icebreakers!
- a plastic jar filled with strips of paper with world-breaking questions such as: If you were trapped in a burning building and could only save one person, would it be your family or your lover? or If you had to pick someone to be the last person on earth with you, would you pick Wei Wuxian or Kano? or just variations of Fuck, Marry, or Kill with different names on each slip
- a human sized dartboard for people to stand in front of and get hit by plastic darts
- the handcuff icebreaker where okuni or baren just handcuff you to someone that you now have to spend time with

As the night comes to a close, Baren and Okuni will take pity on their guests by opening the doors, just in time to set off twenty two fireworks in rapid succession right outside the bar itself.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* HAPPY TWENTY-SECOND BAPPY TWINS!!! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Comments

[givethemhell]

[oh my god i fuckin hate this

There's no way in hell Wei Wuxian would ever make the logical leap necessary to figure Lan Wangji's drunken mental gymnastics out, though, so he just chalks it up to... drunk people doing whatever they want, whenever they want, for literally no reason. Just like toddlers!]

Alright, let's go find you a better bench.

[AWAY HE GOES, leading Lan Wangji by the hand. He'll try to find one that looks a little more comfortable?? Maybe the other one was too-- lacking in cushions. Once he finds one with a few pillows, he points with his free hand.]

There! How about that?

[souheki]

No.

[He's not even pretending to look at it]

[givethemhell]

[He can feel a headache forming...]

Lan Zhan, you didn't even look! If you won't even do that, then I'll just pick a bench at random.

[souheki]

[Hm... is that what he wants? No, if Wei Wuxian picks a bench, then he might, y'know. Actually pick one. And that is not the actual goal of this adventure.

So he stares at the bench for a good thirty seconds, then looks back at Wei Wuxian.]

No.

[Better?]

[givethemhell]

[ONLY MARGINALLY BETTER. He gestures again, but with more feeling!!]

Why? Why not? What's wrong with this bench - it's a perfectly good one! Look, see? There are even cushions! What more could you want from a bench?

[PLEASE!! He'll have to start hunting down tables at this rate, if not even this pinky-out comfort bench is good enough.]

[souheki]

[His initial reaction is to just fuckin ignore everything Wei Wuxian's saying, maybe clap his hands over his ears, but Wei Wuxian's threat of just choosing somewhere random still hangs over his head, and he doesn't want to risk that. So he looks back at the bench, frowning.]

Too big.

[FOR WHAT]

[givethemhell]

[YEAH HE'LL MAKE GOOD ON HIS THREAT, DON'T TEST HIM!!

He's also just looking increasingly more perplexed. Too big??]

What do you mean? They don't make benches much smaller than this. Do you want a bar stool?

[souheki]

No.

[HE REALLY IS A TODDLER everything is just "no"

He removes one of his hands from Wei Wuxian's just long enough to gesture at the bench, as if that's supposed to help at all.]

Too big.

[What he means is that there's room for more than just him and Wei Wuxian on this bench, which is not at all what he wants!! He doesn't want anyone bothering them!!!

It occurs to him, though, that he doesn't actually need to explain this. He can walk? He's walking just fine? Why is he letting Wei Wuxian lead...]

Come. I will look.

[It wasn't a question, he's just dragging Wei Wuxian off now. He's going for the stairs to Baren's attic apartment again,,]

[givethemhell]

[AWAY HE'S DRAGGED goodbye cruel world... He at least just accepts it with an over-dramatic sigh and doesn't seem to have any qualms until he sees where they're heading. WHY IS HE SO FIXATED ON BAREN'S POOR APARTMENT.]

--A bench down here, Lan Zhan. There's nowhere to sit up there, stop that - unless it's the stairs you want to sit on, but those aren't comfortable at all!

[Maybe that's what Lan Wangji is after, though??]

[souheki]

[GOODBYE WORLD. And listen, it's because EVERYTHING DOWNSTAIRS IS TERRIBLE AND HE HATES EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!! It's honestly the rambunctious crowd that he's most uncomfortable with, especially considering half of them are supposed to be his enemies (lines drawn in sand, not set in stone, though they may be), but even that might've been tolerable if it hadn't come right on the heels of the date auction fiasco.

Of course, it's not like he's going to explain all of that while he's drunk. He's got another, much simpler reason, which takes way less effort to explain.]

I want to be alone with you.

[welp]

[givethemhell]

[WELP.

It's clearly not something Wei Wuxian expected to hear, since he stutter-steps as he trails along after Lan Wangji. WHAT. Immediately his one braincell races to make sense of this. Why would he want to be alone together?? Maybe because Wei Wuxian's brand of noise (eternally one-sided conversations) is more palatable to him than the din of a chaotic party?? Yeah, sure. That sounds logical enough.

He glances over toward some of the booths with low tables and cushions, giving Lan Wangji's hand a tug.]

How about over there, then? That's about as good as you're going to get here.

[souheki]

[The tug is enough to make him pause, and he eyes the booths critically. If Wei Wuxian insists on pulling him over there, then he'll go, but he's definitely dragging his feet. Wei Wuxian can also probably tell he's sulking.]

Not the same.

[Why can't they just go upstairs!!! It's not like he's going to carve "Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were here" into a table with his knife, maybe, probably--]

[givethemhell]

[He can tell he's sulking but also! He doesn't care!! Lan Wangji is incorrigible when he's drunk, Wei Wuxian passed the point of caring about his drunken whims a long time ago.]

No, but your only other options are those benches or the bar stools. Come on - there, see? That one in the corner isn't so bad, is it? Look, hardly anyone is over on that side of the room. Isn't that fine?

[souheki]

[INDULGE HIS DRUNKEN WHIMS WTF.

Also no, it's not fine... he'll still let Wei Wuxian pull him over, but he casts a glance at the window that can only be described as longing.]

Let's go outside.

[Is that better? Baren might be annoyed if they break a window but like? Who cares??]

[givethemhell]

[ABSOLUTELY NOT.]

You do know they've locked the windows and doors, right? We could ask one of them to let us out for a little if you really wanted, though.

[He'll reach out with his free hand to pat Lan Wangji's arm, attempting to be like .5% reassuring, at least.]

[souheki]

Hn.

[Oh, that's a more derisive sound than usual... he's not quite scowling, but he doesn't seem keen on that idea at all. Probably not surprising that he doesn't want to talk to the twins, since it's only been a day since the date auction. Lordt.

THERE'S STILL AN EASIER SOLUTION, THOUGH!! Lan Wangji takes over again, pulling him over towards the closest unoccupied chair he can find, regardless of whether or not it looked like someone was sitting in it a minute ago. ALSO REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT OTHER PEOPLE ARE AT THIS TABLE because he doesn't acknowledge them, just picks up the empty chair with his free hand and looks back towards the window--]

[givethemhell]

[STOP WAIT STOP WHAT. Wei Wuxian immediately throws his free arm in front of Lan Wangji, and would have just thrown his wholeass body there if he wasn't mildly concerned Lan Wangji currently lacks the dexterity to stop himself from throwing a chair at his head.]

No, NO!! Don't you dare throw that! You put that back down right now!!

[souheki]

[A pause, and a slight frown.]

I won't miss. [try and sound a little less confident in your drunken skills lwj]

[givethemhell]

That's not the problem! Why do you think that's the problem here?! Stop-- Just put it down!

[HE'LL PUSH AND TUG AND PULL UNTIL HE DOES.]

[souheki]

[Oh

A game?

Time to play tug-of-war with this chair I guess AT LEAST HE FINALLY LETS GO OF WEI WUXIAN'S OTHER HAND although he kind of just holds the chair and lets Wei Wuxian pull it, and him, around... man though Wei Wuxian should really be more careful!!]

[givethemhell]

[Well hot damn if Lan Wangji is just going to let himself be pulled around like this, Wei Wuxian will take the opportunity to SLOWLY... BUT SURELY... lead him over to the corner table. He hopes Lan Wangji will cause less trouble once he's SEATED.

Once there, he tries to put the chair down.]

Come on - come here. Let's sit, alright? Here, you first.

[So he can sit closer to the end and block Lan Wangji from trying to ESCAPE.]

[souheki]

[SUCCESS! Well, mostly. He doesn't seem suspicious about being led over to the table, though he doesn't sit down and let go of the chair quite yet, tilting his head like a curious child.]

Do I win? [Without waiting for an answer--] You have to win.

[HAVE TO.]

[givethemhell]

[PLEASE HE'S SO TIRED. LAN WANGJI. PLEASE. LET HIM REST, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.]

If I have to win, then-- [What game are they even playing. What did he even win??] ...Then I'll win as soon as you sit!

[souheki]

[Nyet. This is his life now.

Lan Wangji considers this for a minute. If he sits, then the game will end, and he doesn't want that!! But if him sitting means that Wei Wuxian wins the game, then maybe that's okay.

Wei Wuxian might leave again once he wins, though... even worse, he might go play with somebody else. Bad. :<

But if this is a booth sort of situation, then there's an easy solution to this too!! Lan Wangji PUTS DOWN THE CHAIR...

...and then unceremoniously grabs Wei Wuxian's arms and just fuckin shoves him rudely into the booth so that he can block Wei Wuxian in. NO ESCAPE FOR WEI YINGS.]

[givethemhell]

Wha— Hey!!

[He TUMBLES INTO THE BOOTH, a heap of flying limbs that probably rattles the glasses of the tables around them when he crashes into BASICALLY THE FLOOR SINCE IT'S A LOW-LAYING TABLE. Thanks Lan Wangji.

On one hand, this is more or less what he wanted! Just for Lan Wangji to sit his stupid ass down! On the other, he did not anticipate being trapped. How will he roam about the party causing mischief now... He reaches out, slapping Lan Wangji's arm several times.]

Hey, hey! Lan Zhan, can't you be a little more gentle? You're going to give me a concussion if you shove me around like that!