fracturarpg | world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

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world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

WHO: baren, okuni, boose the moose, and all partygoers
WHERE: Koi Pond
WHEN: 2/02
WHAT: the twins decide to throw their birthday party two days after that date auction despite all the chaos and kidnappings going on, and also okuni is supposed to be grounded but they let her out for her birthday ig. now everyone is trapped in this bar and forced to mingle.
WARNINGS: there's nudity?? but not like explicit ig, otherwise none

Everyone has most definitely received a cursed invitation in the form of a.) baren reaching out to the Mori and Neutral-aligned residents of Montevallo and b.) Okuni nagging everyone in the Xian Le and associated with the Xian Le, but REGARDLESS OF WHICH ONE YOU GET it all boils down to someone having a party at the Koi Pond tonight.

And what a party it is.

Whether you're unfortunate enough to arrive right on time or you stroll on in to stare at your surroundings like that community.gif, you'll see that the Koi Pond is decked lavishly with balloons on the wall and streamers on the floor and bright lights just about everywhere so no introverts can escape. There are tables loaded with food free of motor oil and pickle juice, music being played by a real live band, a photographer who is making it his job to get very close and in your face at every opportune moment, and a group of dancers decked with strands of pearls and feather fans and nothing much else (this is a co-ed dance troupe, we're equal opportunity here)! They sure are distracting, but they're not even close to the main attraction, no --

The real highlight of this night is Boose the Moose, wearing a glittery paper crown and placidly stepping inside the bar with two figures riding astride on top of him. yeah. it's Baren and Okuni on top their loyal steed, waving their hands at their guests like this was all planned and an elaborate attempt to trap the entire town of Montevallo in one bar.

But before you try shooting them off the moose, take the time to try a piece from the gigantic birthday cake laying resplendent on the table that has the words HAPPY BAPPY TWINS inscribed on the top!!! Incredible! Amazing!! Feel free to have a taste -- each tier is a different flavor, and some tiers are more unfortunate than others.

Now that you've found yourself enclosed in a space with either people from your enemy faction or people from two factions on the outs with one another, please take the time to greet either of the Demon Twins of Montevallo, each holding two pairs of handcuffs in each hand and gazing expectantly towards you. That or mingle at will, because someone locked the doors and windows and slid two iron bars through the handles!!

Just give up and have a good time at this terrible party... Indulge in some icebreakers!
- a plastic jar filled with strips of paper with world-breaking questions such as: If you were trapped in a burning building and could only save one person, would it be your family or your lover? or If you had to pick someone to be the last person on earth with you, would you pick Wei Wuxian or Kano? or just variations of Fuck, Marry, or Kill with different names on each slip
- a human sized dartboard for people to stand in front of and get hit by plastic darts
- the handcuff icebreaker where okuni or baren just handcuff you to someone that you now have to spend time with

As the night comes to a close, Baren and Okuni will take pity on their guests by opening the doors, just in time to set off twenty two fireworks in rapid succession right outside the bar itself.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* HAPPY TWENTY-SECOND BAPPY TWINS!!! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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[ A : 50% OFF DRAAAAANKS ]

[There's gotta be at least one Chaos Reigns option, and this is it. It's Baren making drinks that are both gorgeous and heavily liquored up - except for those who don't drink, in which case he just makes such beautiful drinks that AU God cries and wishes that this world had instagram, that's how pretty they are.

And he'll slide it over to you, grinning.]

C'mon, loosen up a little!

Wanna play an icebreaker?

[HE HAS THE HANDCUFFS AT THE READY]

[ B : 0.000000001% soft boi ]

[the longer that everyone's stuck together and the more they're forced to mingle - the more baren actually seems to back off a little bit. anyone looking for him will realize that baren is sometimes perched on the steps that'd lead up to his (very very very locked) room in the attic, just watching everyone, expression unreadable - or he's just hanging back behind the bar counter doing much of the same

and maybe you'll make a really funny fmk choice, or maybe you'll say something in a drunken stupor

but then he'll have to suddenly turn away, covering his mouth, shoulders shaking

it's not until everyone's released and the fireworks are going off overhead that baren will even risk it - a genuine, private smile to himself, no matter what other chaos and insanity happened

because this town is so fucked up. people are getting their arms broken, others are getting kidnapped, and the past few weeks have been insane. but that's just the time they live in, isn't it? it doesn't change the fact that he's so fucking soft for this entire town of montevallo that he couldn't even pick a side to swear his loyalty to - so he didn't. it's a pretty horrible place, but it's a town that baren loves with his whole heart and no matter how much others will talk shit about him and his choices, that'll never change.

not once through the night does he individually ask anyone for a gift for himself again, despite all the fluster he made in the weeks past.

seems like he's got everything he wants.

so it might be a trick of the moonlight - the way that baren's expressions looks barely a touch fonder - as he checks on you after the fireworks]

You good to get home?

[Maybe Baren's noticed that Wei Wuxian wanders over to the window closest to the door a few times throughout the night, or that he nurses one or two drinks instead of tanking back his usual 500, BUT LOOK... As much as he loves celebrations and adores these chaos twins, he also needs to be in top form just in case disaster decides to come knocking on his door again. It's why he's completely straight-standingly sober even by the end of this wild, wild night.

He still seems fond though because he's also grossly soft beneath the gremlin onion layers. Gross. He stretches his arms overhead, enjoying the crisp smell of night air and firecracker smoke and glancing around at all these (probably exhausted, but also probably mostly satisfied) party-goers.]

Mmhm! You two really outdid yourselves this year, though. You'll have to start planning for your twenty-third birthday now if you want to top this one, you know?

[He has faith, though... Unfortunately.]

Did it go like you'd hoped?

[ at the ready huh

alcoholic or not tsukasa'll take the offered drink, staring pointedly at the handcuffs

then at baren

then the handcuffs

then baren again

baren. ]

Do I have to play to get back my stolen handcuffs, Mr. Kumou, or are you planning on dropping them off at my house after you and Miss Okuni have had your fun.

[ this is not really a question, per se. ]

A; would you kill wwx? or kano?

[Okuni is shaking that plastic jar of icebreakers like it's a tambourine in your general direction, hello]

Take one! Baren and I spent hours writing these!

[more like fifteen minutes because dual punk energy is strong and efficient]

B; hide and go seek should have been one of the icebreakers

[are you enjoying yourself? are you enjoying the misery of being trapped in the koi pond with a moose and the demon twins??? either way, Okuni immediately darts behind the nearest person and whispers frantically,]

Don't move! You have to hide me! It's my birthday!

[unless you're one of the Many People who are after okuni's PUNK ASS TONIGHT, because if so, Okuni will dart behind Boose and hide instead. you can see her entire 5'2' body behind this animal.]

Hours, hm? Well! How could I possibly turn down such high quality work?

[He'll stick his hand right in! Too bad there aren't any mouse traps or other stupid pranks to make him suffer for his hubris. Unless there are, in which case, let him suffer for his hubris.

BUT IF THEY'RE NOT, he'll pull one out! And of course, by obligation, he pulls out the Wei Wuxian VS Kano one.]

—Hmm, you're going to have to give me a second to think about this one. Are all of the questions this tough?

[ okuni's being let off the hook tonight since it's her birthday HANDCUFFS ASIDE, YOU TWO, but hi. tsukasa's taller than 5'2'. he can hide her. ]

...Yes it is, but why am I hiding you? [ a beat, and softer: ] Happy birthday, Miss Okuni. You look very lovely tonight.

[it's really too bad there aren't any mouse traps in this jar, but the questions themselves are chaotic enough that Okuni decided to be merciful,]

Tough? [She's going to push her head over so she can peer at his strip of paper,] That one should be easy for you! You obviously have to pick Kano-chan.

[wwx and kano doomed to be together.... wow]

[Okuni loves her birthday rights so much, especially now that the one half of the law of the town is helping her hide.]

Thank you, Tsucchi! You're so sweet. I knew bidding on you was the right choice!

[since it's her birthday, she's going to try her luck and try linking arms with him, hehe. hope baren isn't nearby to handcuff Tsukasa to Boose.]

I know that a lot of other people probably bid on you too, but it would be nice if I won, wouldn't it?

[ HE'LL LET HER... just don't let your brother kill him, okay. that's all he asks

but also, ahkjdsafg!? ]

You bid on me!? [ WHYYYYYY, HE TOLD SHINOBU NOBODY WOULD!! ] I- I mean, no, I don't think a lot of people did, actually, so I'm sure you'll win if you... Really want to...

[ ohh my goddddddddddd, he's burying his face in one of his hands at least please end him ]

Why'd you waste your money on me... There's plenty of more deserving people!!

[ but tsukasa not all of them react like you what's the POINT ]

a. (this is the handcuff option)

[ well

tsukasa has been going out of his way to get handcuffed to people, like someone with a weird handcuff fetish, but actually, it's because as soon as whichever twin has handcuffed them has turned away, he's taking out his key and sighing as he unlocks the handcuffs.

yes, all handcuffs basically use the same key. i looked this up. they can be different, so maybe it doesn't work because it's a xian le handcuff and not his from the station, but you know? he's here for his poor police supplies. that's why he's here. also because okuni invited him. and it's a birthday party. ]

...I don't see how this will encourage us to talk anyway. It's not like everyone here is a stranger to each other - I feel like everyone knows someone somehow, don't you?

[ yes unfortunately this dialogue is the same if the key does not work with the handcuffs because they are not his, but it is said differently. like, more frustration and trying harder to unlock them. who steals two different sets of handcuffs anyway!! ]

b. (this is the not-handcuff option)

[ aka, fireworks, because i love fireworks. which he also isn't pleased about, but he's like seventeen and fireworks are pretty frickin' cool, even if this is a danger. and a disturbance.

but it's their birthday, so he's letting them slide. just this once. don't say the law isn't nice kids it is unfortunately extremely nice, and looking extremely content and contemplative. see, the party was nice. tonight was nice. why can't all nights be this nice? why do some of them have to be, say, absolute messes, like the date auction...

well, it's fine. montevallo is montevallo after all. he takes a bite of his cake and spits it out fucking immediately, he picked the WRONG TIER FLAVOR— ]

Who puts sour cream as a cake flavor!?

[yeah tsukasa NO ONE ELSE IS LIKE YOU FOR PRECISELY THIS REASON!! imagine if she bid on wwx or shigure... they'd just go 'haha wow thanks okuni, let's have some soup' and she'd have to kill them. or if she'd won shinobu or itaru, they'd go 'thanks okuni, anyway how's your blood pressure?" and she'd have to submit to a medical examination...

only Tsukasa can feed her like this. Her eyes get that gleam in her eye...]

Don't be silly! Even if there are, no one is quite like you. [that's a FACT!!!] You're a good artist, you take care of your parents, you have a stable job that's legal, and Shinobu likes you! I personally think that puts you towards the top. You could really beat out all the other bachelors!

[except for baren, but Okuni knows her own bias]

[ "You have a stable job that's legal" thanks that one's the best ]

You and Shinobu are just the same. Shishi also insists on embarrassing me with flattery. I love you both, but neither of you have any shame, do you.

[IS THIS MERCY......... These twins are TOO MUCH.]

Why can't I pick myself and have a dramatic few weeks as the last man alive?

[WHY IS HIS LIFE EXPECTANCY A FEW WEEKS.]

It's not like I would mind Kano either, though. Between the two of us, he'd be the better choice!

[it really is the best]

Hehe, that's because Shinobu-chan and I are both great, wonderful, and clever people who don't need anything as boring as shame. [okuni can say this because she's actually complimenting shinobu here okay!!!] And we both care about you! Though Shinobu-chan always tells me to take it easy on you, so she's definitely better than me.

[SHE'S BETTER IN A LOT OF WAYS...]

That's why I bid on her too!

[YEAH WHY IS IT A FEW WEEKS]

You can't pick yourself because you'd be alone, Wei-chan! You can't be alone!

[just MATTER-OF-FACTLY, the kumou word is law. WWX is too much of a social, mothering creature when he's not being gremlin and sleeping with his shoes on.]

Kano-chan is annoying, but I think he can be resourceful at times. I'm sure the two of you would definitely be able to survive the apocalypse.

[He doesn't have high hopes for himself. THAT'S SO SWEET THOUGH, OKUNI... She's right, he really would wither and die rapidly if he was left all alone. Maybe a few weeks is actually being too generous.]

I see, I see! Well, I'm quite fond of Kano and I'm sure we'll never have a dull moment, so that works fine. Why can't I cheat and stop the apocalypse before it becomes a situation only two people survive, though?

[Okuni turns towards Baren once he's finished with the last straggler, arms full of streamers. Her eyes are soft and fond too, despite knowing that she's on THIN ICE with a lot of people... Which she feels bad for, but she's grateful too -- that she got to spend this day with Baren. And she liked hearing him laugh and smile and revel in their mischief, and she liked seeing him surrounded by people he cares for. Their last birthday had been... well, probably when he infiltrated the Mori. This birthday will mark the first of many to come -- with Baren in Middleton and Okuni still back with the Xian Le.

She finds herself dragging her feet as the night grows long. She has to go back sometime, but it's like there's a spell on the bar that feels too fragile to break just yet. It's obviously because she needs to help clean up all the chaos left behind, of course. She can't just GO. That's bad manners!!]

Baren, [she starts, shifting the streamers to her other arm as she hops on up towards him, holding out her free hand to take his.] ...happy birthday!

[happy bappy, barenapy]

When am I not?

[shigure has zero fear, so.]

I'm surprised the night has ended without Tsukasa arresting anyone.

[shigure laughs, but sure, he'll stay still.]

What did you do this time, Okuni?

pre-chaos

[Because Lan Wangji should at least get a couple of hours before he embarrasses the fuck out of himself

Lan Wangji's definitely not the only one who isn't happy to be here, though under normal circumstances he wouldn't be quite so obvious about it. But thanks to OKUNI SPECIFICALLY, the displeasure on his face is easily read, and he goes out of his way to avoid both twins. No, he does not care that it's their birthday. No, he will not be swayed by even the puppiest of puppy dog stares. Terrible.

You're welcome to try and approach him with food or to play an icebreaker game or even to chastise him for being rude, but it'll be hard to get him to play along. You've been warned.]

drunk

[Unfortunately for Lan Wangji's dignity, all of this is just... too much. It's too loud, too chaotic, too many people he doesn't know or doesn't like--just too much everything, and unless he wants to break down the doors (which he seriously contemplates for a good twenty minutes), he needs some other way to deal with all of this. Normally, he would never be so careless in public, and it's hard to say what the exact trigger is--but at some point during the mess that is this party, he'll go to the bar, grab a shot of literally anything, and down the whole thing in one go.

And then sits right down on the floor, assumes the lotus pose, and... meditates? ...Nope, his head's drooping. He's out.

After he's imbibed his one (1) shot of alcohol, fallen asleep for a good ten minutes, and jumped back up, you can catch him doing one of the following:

- wandering around with a very determined look in his eye, possibly stopping to stare intently at you
- going up to random people and pushing them like a petulant child
- also going up to and pushing the dancers (but like, their shoulders, he's not a pervert)
- heading unsteadily for the stairs
- trying to get behind the bar to gather up jars (and jars and more jars, he can sure hold a lot of these) of alcohol
- stealing as many handcuffs as he can (hm)
- hiding behind a plant
- following Wei Wuxian around the room and then quickly turning around and standing in one spot if anybody looks at him
(- I'm so sorry but mostly for myself)]

[Well, here is Minato, dressed not in drag but as a regular guy living his regular guy life. He's not entirely sure how he got here, but he's here nonetheless--!!

It doesn't matter what he's wearing, anyway, because instead now there's just bite of sour cream cake on his shirt from Tsukasa spitting that out. Minato blinks, and looks down at his shirt.]

Oh.

[Yeah.

Sup, good to see you again.]

[Yeah this is a Xian Le handcuff because Tsukasa has to suffer from Wei Wuxian's extended presence. The answer to the question "who would you rather be stuck with, Kano or Wei Wuxian" has now been decided for him! He doesn't seem all that bothered, though. Probably because this stupid asshole knows like at least three ways to get out of cuffs without a key.]

Well, it is pretty small for a big town, you know. The same people circulate around, so it makes sense that a lot of us would at least be familiar with each other.

[And sure enough, a glance about this party reveals a lot of familiar faces indeed...]

They're really trying their best, though!

[God he's probably been at least making an ATTEMPT to field Lan Wangji's chaos as his drunken shenanigans have unfolded over the night. Whether it's guiding him away from those poor dancers or making sure he doesn't topple over the stairs or attempting to shoo him away when he starts following again, he's really doing his best!!

So when he comes across him hiding behind a plant, it's really not as bad as it could be, but it still makes Wei Wuxian slap a hand over his face anyway.]

Lan Zhan, what are you doing this time? Didn't I tell you to go sit down with a glass of water?

[He definitely said that. He's said that like five times.]

[Congrats Wei Wuxian now you have 14 children to care about

From where he's crouched behind the plant, Lan Wangji glances surreptitiously up at him. Then he turns away and ducks his face low enough that his hair covers his expression.

He's Hiding. IF HE CAN'T SEE WEI WUXIAN THEN WEI WUXIAN CAN'T SEE HIM.]

recite the ethics sutra 1000 times or something

[ this is a den of sin

by which i mean, the head of xian le is staring, as intently as possible, forward and nowhere near any of these extremely scantily clad women. his expression is utterly blank. no matter how much they're dancing, or giggling, or anything, xie lian looks like he's disassociating to a different plane of existence staring at the back of a bar, holding a drink (it's water) in his hands. xie lian's heart is still water. Still Water,

eventually, one of the dancers comes over and starts to strike up a conversation that's clearly along the lines of get-close-to-the-head-of-xian-le because he's definitely not cute enough for this (?) but also 100% not interested. even to the point of getting a once guarding bare skin feather fan tickled under his chin gets a - ] No thank you. [ as polite and kind as he can be.

this lady won't give up though. ] - I'm not interested, really. [ uh oh. don't make her cry? don't offend her? oh heavens - ] I mean, that isn't -- it's not because of you, per se -

[ please help him ]

icebreaking

I'm supposed to pick what?! [ okay, now he's decidedly less cool as still water. xie lian holds in his hands, an accursed icebreaker slip.

fuck, marry, kill: jiang cheng, sephiroth, ookurikara

WAS THIS RIGGED ]

Edited 2020-02-05 02:28 (UTC)

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Page 1 of 7

world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

uno bappy

b!

a, why wasn't i going to pick this

dos bappy

a! wwx would kill wwx

b ia with that

is wwx the gemini man

the twins cheating and opening their eyes to see where tsukasa hides

sdshgdjsgdsf THIS IS SO MEAN HE'S GONNA RESCIND HIS GIFT

no subject

ONLY IF HE CAN PROVE THAT THEY CHEATED

WELL!! WELL!!!! POINT

dam... u got him

cue the twins, cackling

gremlini man

THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A PASTA

b give me soft baren

b

b

no subject

b.

a!

take one guess

I'm exhausted

no subject