fracturarpg | intro log.

Entry tags:

! intro

intro log.

welcome mingle

( AND SO IT BEGINS. )

There's nothing but the clatter of train tracks, and the odd feeling of almost floating.

When you wake, it's hard to tell exactly what it is that you're missing - only that you are. There are pieces that aren't quite right, even if you're not sure where those pieces would normally be. Pieces of what, exactly....? Well, if you had to put a word to it, it would be - yourself, probably.

The place you've found yourself in is strange, certainly. It's probably worth exploring a bit. Though it just as easily seems that the only form of welcome or explanation that you have, comes from nothing more than a slab of marble.

Well - that, and all the people who seem to have woken up alongside you, lost and also probably Doing Their Best™.

There's no need to fret that much though. It's hard to say exactly where you're going next, even though some places might feel a little bit more like a clue, but what you do know is one unshakeable thing:

There's still much more ahead of you.

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[At least he manages to avoid getting his ass whooped by an angry mob that way! Sometimes it's best to just have three people you interact with on a daily basis and throw the towel in there while you're still ahead and in one piece.

BUT ONWARD, TO THE NEXT CAR. He's. He's got no idea what this is. Stupidly, ice cream does exist in his world THANKS CORNETTOS. But freeze dried ice cream looks nothing like what he's used to?? He leans forward, poking at the bag.]

Is this edible? Why are people so obsessed with shoving their snacks into shiny wrappers too, goodness.

[He's a fan, though.]

Shiny wrappers and pretty and crinkly and make things more fun to eat!

[ He picks up one of the packages and gives it a little shake so they can enjoy the crinkly noise— but that also makes the ice cream start to crumble inside the package, whoops. Now it's in easy to share pieces. ]

Here, here, give it a try~ It's ice cream, so it's like...

[ ...salty

is his first impression when he pops a piece into his own mouth while holding the package out to Wei Wuxian. Apparently freeze dried ice cream can be weirdly salty, weirdly light, and weirdly crumbly. ]

Well, you're not wrong about that! I think I'd like it if all of my food came in shiny wrappers. Maybe I can work on that once I get back!

[Bringing foil and freeze dried ice cream to ancient fantasy China...

But he'll reach forward to fish a piece out of the bag, too! If it's ice cream, he's excited!! ...And summarily disappointed when it turns out to be so weird.]

—Is it? You know, some things about this place are great, but they really can be hit and miss with the food. The fried dough is so good, but this is so... [SO......] --Well! Variety keeps life exciting and all, I guess.

[ Ancient fantasy China would laud him for introducing foil packaging to their food, I'm sure. ]

Maybe it was supposed to be mixed with something, like the relish? Ah, well~ What's this fried dough that got your stamp of approval? Was it in one of your lucky previous carts?

[ If Kano has to taste test things too, he doesn't want to eat more disappointing space food. ]

[They love all of his other inventions!! Add one more to the pile, even if this one he's just yoinking from the future.]

Haha, that sounds bad. [Even he doesn't want to try that combo??

But at the question, he just nods! And then digs into his endless merlin robes to extract another bundle of napkins. When he opens this one, there are a bunch of mini churros inside!]

Here! Give one of these a try - they really are good, I promise!

[This isn't an elaborate revenge scheme!!]

[ Kano's trying to imagine just how much he'd be able to squirrel away if he had infinite sleeves like that too, but he's distracted by the churros that he hasn't had before, but he can tell that it's a donut of some sort.

Anything deep fried, crunchy, and sugary is A+++ in his book, so he gives one a try, thinking that if it is an elaborate revenge scheme— for what? Kano was nothing but kind and helpful towards Wei Wuxian— he could always spit it back out and literally nobody can blame him. ]

[Fortunately for everyone, they're perfectly normal churros. Still a bit warm, even! He'd only recently pilfered them when they were hot and fresh.]

What do you think? Not bad at all, right? These would go well with some real ice cream! We should see if they have any.

[Because drowning himself in sweets from other cars isn't enough?? One can never consume Too Much Sugar.]

[ Wei Wuxian is a terrifying man who keeps piping hot churros in his sleeves. ]

Yeah, that's right! It'd have to be in a car with a freezer, right? Let's go, let's go~ We can skip the cars that don't have that sort of thing~

[ He snatches something off the snack cart here before they leave, though, in case they come across the disappointing scenario where they find a freezer but there's no ice cream inside. Shuuya Kano is always prepared for such disappointing scenarios. ]

[me immediately slapping that onto his profile]

Are any cars more likely to have them than others? I've seen a few iceboxes but they've been pretty scattered, honestly.

[See: in this next car, where the snack trolley area looks more like the concession stand of a movie theater.]

[ Kano hums thoughtfully while he looks around this next cart, grabs a bottle of coke, empties it into a bag of popcorn so it can soak up the soda without dripping onto the floor, and hands that to Wei Wuxian. It's for throwing away, not for eating, but either way. The empty coke bottle gets pumped full of mustard, recapped, and handed over to join the soggy popcorn. ]

Let's keep going. If we want to find a car with a freezer, look for fancy stuff! Wines and spirits and whatever are always served on the rocks, right? So if there's ice, there's gotta be a freezer nearby~

[WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS. Curiously, Wei Wuxian tries one (1) soggy popcorn piece and promptly decides not to eat anymore. Bad! He's still going to carry both this nasty bag and gross bottle full of mustard, though. He doesn't know what Kano wants them for??]

Are they? [He's learning so much.] Mm, well! If it's drinks we're after, there's a car back that way that had an entire cabin full of them.

[He jerks his thumb over his shoulder in the direction he'd come from.]

Don't remember seeing any ice cream, though. Maybe there's a better one up ahead?

[ Don't worry about it.

Kano turns on his heels, looking back over his shoulder at the closed door that really doesn't tell him anything, before turning back with a decisive nod. ]

Yeah, let's keep going~ We're men on a mission, so there's no going back!

[ He is going to forward march into the next car, and unless the car 1) is filled wall to wall with glass bottles, or 2) is an entire freezer room itself, he's not going to stop. It's an infinite train, so they'll find something eventually, he thinks; there's no point in stopping and wasting time on Possible ice cream carts when they can waste time finding a Guaranteed ice cream cart. ]

[Why is Kano an agent of chaos?? But fair enough, he has too much energy for a grownass man and doesn't at all seem troubled to be wandering through the train void with this stranger.]

A good mission to have! Ah, wait— [Oh no he's DISTRACTED ALREADY. They wander through one of the food carts without a fridge in sight and he's absolutely veering off because he smells something tasty.]

What's that? It smells good! Is that chicken?

[It's a buffalo wing bar, hoo boy.]

[ He's an agent of chaos here to escort King Chaos, apparently. ]

Oh man, look at all those dipping sauces... Should've saved the bottle if I knew!

[ He would have dabbed one of each twenty sauces into the bottle and given it a good shake, but it's a fate they avoid for now. ]

But yeah, yeah, it looks like chicken~ What a good nose! Like a bloodhound~

[King Chaos with his bloodhound chicken nose...]

We can always dump this one out! Unless you need it for something. [DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS.

He himself is not about to waste the opportunity to try food that smells good, though. After shifting his soggy popcorn and mustard bottle to the crook of his arm and grabbing a chicken wing, he circles the sauce bar curiously, looking for something that seems Extra Tasty.]

Having all of these choices is almost too much, you know? I can hardly pick! You'd have to eat all of the chicken here to get a good sample of everything.

No, no, it's real important we keep that one, so we can't dump it out! We'll find something else to substitute~

[ He'll think about what to do, while circling the chicken wing bar himself. Some of those dipping sauces are alarmingly red and he already knows to avoid them, but Mister King Chaos here would probably love them. ]

Hm. Well! There's nobody else here, so don't be shy~ You might as well eat all the chicken to get a good sample of everything!

[ That's Wei Wuxian specifically, Kano not partaking. He's getting a poptart out of his pocket and carefully opening up one end of it so he can eat the pop tart inside and collect dipping sauces inside the wrapper. ]

Just point out the ones you like best, and I'll keep a sample for you!

Alright, alright. Here, let's keep them safe. [He'll set both items down nearby so he doesn't spill their precious disgusting contents!! And now he has TWO HANDS free for chicken grabbing.

Kano is also absolutely correct, Wei Wuxian immediately gravitates toward the sauces that are red enough to blind a man and have spice fumes so strong that The Rock would probably cry. He grabs a second wing!! And dunks both into two different hellish sauces. Being an actual demon that crawled from the deepest pits of hell himself, he only seems delighted when he takes his first bite, rather than immediately dropping to the floor screaming and writhing in agony.]

—Now that's a good flavor! Wonderful! Ah, you should try this-- [Bite two from chicken two.] —Or this, this one might be even better! Is that garlic? Lemon too, I think! Absolutely delicious.

[Absolutely horrifying?? His attention is drawn by the sound of the poptart wrapper though, and he glances over, curious.]

--What's that?

[ The bag of soggy popcorn makes a terrible squelching noise when it's set down and it starts to leak, but it's okay and maybe it'll be better after it dries a little next to all the hot chicken wing heat.

Also the spicy heat, which Kano can feel in his nose when Wei Wuxian starts making his way through the sauces, and you know it's bad when your nose and mouth start swapping senses. Absolutely horrifying. Kano refuses to give into Wei Wuxian's curiosity and allow him to dip any part of this poptart into carolina reaper sauce, if that's what that look is for. ]

Happiness rations~ Want to try some?

[ He breaks off half of the tart (brown sugar cinnamon) and... crumbles it in his hand to sprinkle on top of the chicken wing Wei Wuxian is holding in his hand so it can be a topping on top of the sauce that's already there. Sweet and spicy. ]

[Hm that's nightmarish, but he'll deal with the logistics of trying to carry that nasty mess LATER...

Happiness rations, though?? He's absolutely looking intrigued now - and definitely would have tried dunking at least a little corner into some Burn Your Eyebrows Off Hot Sauce™ if given the chance... Fortunately no one has to worry about that, since he just gets some chicken wing sprinkles instead.]

Huh. Is this how you're meant to eat it? [He plucks a little crumb off to try first, surprised by the sweetness. It's like a pastry! But weird!! Taking a bite of his sprinkled chicken next.] —Haha, it's not bad, but you can barely taste anything outside of the sauce.

[A normal person would probably barely be able to taste anything period right about now.]

[ This isn't a normal person standing in front of him, so Kano takes the second poptart out of the sleeve and... thinks that if he crumbled this one up and sprinkled it too, most of it is going to land on the floor because the sauce is already saturated and half the wing is gone anyways. ]

Here, here, I gotcha~

[ So he just hands the entire tart over and now Wei Wuxian can slather it with Burn Your Eyebrows Off Hot Sauce™ and top it with chicken as the topping. ]

You're the best!

[TAKES THAT POPTART after shifting his half-finished wing to the other hand. Now he's got two wings over there because he needs at least one hand free to EXAMINE THIS SQUARE. He taps at the sugar frosting carefully, splitting it in two a few seconds later to look at the filling. He also sniffs it, because surprisingly his sense of smell is still intact.]

—Cinnamon again, right? Something else, too? Is this supposed to be a pastry like those dough things?

[He gnaws off a little corner of just the dough without filling or frosting, intrigued by the strangely chalky texture. This shit is wild even without dunking it in hot sauce??]

[ Kano laughs at being called the best because... yeah, that's funny. ]

Yep, yep~ Cinnamon and brown sugar! Which is like normal sugar, but brown!

[ Don't make him explain brown sugar, because he can't. He nods watching Wei Wuxian eat it proper way, which is to tap the weirdly hard frosting shell, nibble at the plain pasty and go ??? before trying out the filling. ]

You're supposed to toast 'em for best results, but I dunno about finding a toaster in here. I guess you can set it on top of the chicken and let it warm up a bit that way?

[ It might melt a little and taste like chicken, but cold poptarts are sub-optimal poptarts. ]

[HE ALREADY LOVES KANO HE WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO ARGUES WITH HIS BIASED DECLARATIONS.]

I see! [He does not see. He also doesn't know what a toaster is! And he's not particularly keen on mixing this with chicken again, either, now that he's tried it on his own. Instead:]

What about fire-roasting them? Is something like that alright?

[He's absolutely going to start a fire in this car if it is.]

[ PREPARE TO FIGHT 96% OF THE CAST!!

One day Kano will have to introduce the concept of chicken and waffles so they can both "hm" over it and make a ranking of various chicken pastry combos. ]

Ohh, yeah, that would work! Dunno if there's a fire keeping the chicken warm, but fires are easy to start~ We have chicken oil and...

[ Flame source, flame source... It's really too bad he's not a real Burnish. Taking a quick look around, though, it doesn't seem impossible to start a fire ]

Maybe if we smash a lightbulb, it'll catch something on fire? Mm, we'll figure out a way!

[HE'S HERE, GUNNING FOR BLOOD!!

Please though that absolutely needs to happen and he will judge soundly. He also just immediately waves a hand!! While Kano may not be a real Burnish, he's hanging out with a fucking black magic sorcerer, at least.]

I have fire, it's fine! Here—

[He says, drawing out a fire talisman which immediately lights up between his fingers when he holds it up. HE'S WASTING PRECIOUS RESOURCES FOR THIS but he's a shitpost so it doesn't really matter.]

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