world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

[osuni]

WHO: baren, okuni, boose the moose, and all partygoers
WHERE: Koi Pond
WHEN: 2/02
WHAT: the twins decide to throw their birthday party two days after that date auction despite all the chaos and kidnappings going on, and also okuni is supposed to be grounded but they let her out for her birthday ig. now everyone is trapped in this bar and forced to mingle.
WARNINGS: there's nudity?? but not like explicit ig, otherwise none



Everyone has most definitely received a cursed invitation in the form of a.) baren reaching out to the Mori and Neutral-aligned residents of Montevallo and b.) Okuni nagging everyone in the Xian Le and associated with the Xian Le, but REGARDLESS OF WHICH ONE YOU GET it all boils down to someone having a party at the Koi Pond tonight.

And what a party it is.

Whether you're unfortunate enough to arrive right on time or you stroll on in to stare at your surroundings like that community.gif, you'll see that the Koi Pond is decked lavishly with balloons on the wall and streamers on the floor and bright lights just about everywhere so no introverts can escape. There are tables loaded with food free of motor oil and pickle juice, music being played by a real live band, a photographer who is making it his job to get very close and in your face at every opportune moment, and a group of dancers decked with strands of pearls and feather fans and nothing much else (this is a co-ed dance troupe, we're equal opportunity here)! They sure are distracting, but they're not even close to the main attraction, no --

The real highlight of this night is Boose the Moose, wearing a glittery paper crown and placidly stepping inside the bar with two figures riding astride on top of him. yeah. it's Baren and Okuni on top their loyal steed, waving their hands at their guests like this was all planned and an elaborate attempt to trap the entire town of Montevallo in one bar.

But before you try shooting them off the moose, take the time to try a piece from the gigantic birthday cake laying resplendent on the table that has the words HAPPY BAPPY TWINS inscribed on the top!!! Incredible! Amazing!! Feel free to have a taste -- each tier is a different flavor, and some tiers are more unfortunate than others.

Now that you've found yourself enclosed in a space with either people from your enemy faction or people from two factions on the outs with one another, please take the time to greet either of the Demon Twins of Montevallo, each holding two pairs of handcuffs in each hand and gazing expectantly towards you. That or mingle at will, because someone locked the doors and windows and slid two iron bars through the handles!!

Just give up and have a good time at this terrible party... Indulge in some icebreakers!
- a plastic jar filled with strips of paper with world-breaking questions such as: If you were trapped in a burning building and could only save one person, would it be your family or your lover? or If you had to pick someone to be the last person on earth with you, would you pick Wei Wuxian or Kano? or just variations of Fuck, Marry, or Kill with different names on each slip
- a human sized dartboard for people to stand in front of and get hit by plastic darts
- the handcuff icebreaker where okuni or baren just handcuff you to someone that you now have to spend time with

As the night comes to a close, Baren and Okuni will take pity on their guests by opening the doors, just in time to set off twenty two fireworks in rapid succession right outside the bar itself.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* HAPPY TWENTY-SECOND BAPPY TWINS!!! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Comments

dos bappy

[osuni]

A; would you kill wwx? or kano?

[Okuni is shaking that plastic jar of icebreakers like it's a tambourine in your general direction, hello]

Take one! Baren and I spent hours writing these!

[more like fifteen minutes because dual punk energy is strong and efficient]

B; hide and go seek should have been one of the icebreakers

[are you enjoying yourself? are you enjoying the misery of being trapped in the koi pond with a moose and the demon twins??? either way, Okuni immediately darts behind the nearest person and whispers frantically,]

Don't move! You have to hide me! It's my birthday!

[unless you're one of the Many People who are after okuni's PUNK ASS TONIGHT, because if so, Okuni will dart behind Boose and hide instead. you can see her entire 5'2' body behind this animal.]

a! wwx would kill wwx

[givethemhell]

Hours, hm? Well! How could I possibly turn down such high quality work?

[He'll stick his hand right in! Too bad there aren't any mouse traps or other stupid pranks to make him suffer for his hubris. Unless there are, in which case, let him suffer for his hubris.

BUT IF THEY'RE NOT, he'll pull one out! And of course, by obligation, he pulls out the Wei Wuxian VS Kano one.]

—Hmm, you're going to have to give me a second to think about this one. Are all of the questions this tough?

is wwx the gemini man

[osuni]

[it's really too bad there aren't any mouse traps in this jar, but the questions themselves are chaotic enough that Okuni decided to be merciful,]

Tough? [She's going to push her head over so she can peer at his strip of paper,] That one should be easy for you! You obviously have to pick Kano-chan.

[wwx and kano doomed to be together.... wow]

dam... u got him

[givethemhell]

[IS THIS MERCY......... These twins are TOO MUCH.]

Why can't I pick myself and have a dramatic few weeks as the last man alive?

[WHY IS HIS LIFE EXPECTANCY A FEW WEEKS.]

It's not like I would mind Kano either, though. Between the two of us, he'd be the better choice!

gremlini man

[osuni]

[YEAH WHY IS IT A FEW WEEKS]

You can't pick yourself because you'd be alone, Wei-chan! You can't be alone!

[just MATTER-OF-FACTLY, the kumou word is law. WWX is too much of a social, mothering creature when he's not being gremlin and sleeping with his shoes on.]

Kano-chan is annoying, but I think he can be resourceful at times. I'm sure the two of you would definitely be able to survive the apocalypse.

THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A PASTA

[givethemhell]

[He doesn't have high hopes for himself. THAT'S SO SWEET THOUGH, OKUNI... She's right, he really would wither and die rapidly if he was left all alone. Maybe a few weeks is actually being too generous.]

I see, I see! Well, I'm quite fond of Kano and I'm sure we'll never have a dull moment, so that works fine. Why can't I cheat and stop the apocalypse before it becomes a situation only two people survive, though?

wei wuxian IS a noodley twink

[osuni]

That’s a good question! We have that somewhere in here too!

[sticking her hand in and just rearranging strips of paper until she finds the one she wants and then pulling it out,]

If you had a chance to stop the apocalypse with a time machine, would you go back and kill the one responsible or go back and seduce them?

[hm]

i mean, you arent wrong

[givethemhell]

[Wow that's a terrible question and yet, he looks like he's genuinely considering it.]

I guess that depends on why they started the apocalypse in the first place! Some people are probably better off dead.

[LOOK... HE'S NOT WRONG.]

b ia with that

[stressweets]

[ okuni's being let off the hook tonight since it's her birthday HANDCUFFS ASIDE, YOU TWO, but hi. tsukasa's taller than 5'2'. he can hide her. ]

...Yes it is, but why am I hiding you? [ a beat, and softer: ] Happy birthday, Miss Okuni. You look very lovely tonight.

the twins cheating and opening their eyes to see where tsukasa hides

[osuni]

[Okuni loves her birthday rights so much, especially now that the one half of the law of the town is helping her hide.]

Thank you, Tsucchi! You're so sweet. I knew bidding on you was the right choice!

[since it's her birthday, she's going to try her luck and try linking arms with him, hehe. hope baren isn't nearby to handcuff Tsukasa to Boose.]

I know that a lot of other people probably bid on you too, but it would be nice if I won, wouldn't it?

sdshgdjsgdsf THIS IS SO MEAN HE'S GONNA RESCIND HIS GIFT

[stressweets]

[ HE'LL LET HER... just don't let your brother kill him, okay. that's all he asks

but also, ahkjdsafg!? ]

You bid on me!? [ WHYYYYYY, HE TOLD SHINOBU NOBODY WOULD!! ] I- I mean, no, I don't think a lot of people did, actually, so I'm sure you'll win if you... Really want to...

[ ohh my goddddddddddd, he's burying his face in one of his hands at least please end him ]

Why'd you waste your money on me... There's plenty of more deserving people!!

[ but tsukasa not all of them react like you what's the POINT ]

ONLY IF HE CAN PROVE THAT THEY CHEATED

[osuni]

[yeah tsukasa NO ONE ELSE IS LIKE YOU FOR PRECISELY THIS REASON!! imagine if she bid on wwx or shigure... they'd just go 'haha wow thanks okuni, let's have some soup' and she'd have to kill them. or if she'd won shinobu or itaru, they'd go 'thanks okuni, anyway how's your blood pressure?" and she'd have to submit to a medical examination...

only Tsukasa can feed her like this. Her eyes get that gleam in her eye...]

Don't be silly! Even if there are, no one is quite like you. [that's a FACT!!!] You're a good artist, you take care of your parents, you have a stable job that's legal, and Shinobu likes you! I personally think that puts you towards the top. You could really beat out all the other bachelors!

[except for baren, but Okuni knows her own bias]

WELL!! WELL!!!! POINT

[stressweets]

[ "You have a stable job that's legal" thanks that one's the best ]

You and Shinobu are just the same. Shishi also insists on embarrassing me with flattery. I love you both, but neither of you have any shame, do you.

cue the twins, cackling

[osuni]

[it really is the best]

Hehe, that's because Shinobu-chan and I are both great, wonderful, and clever people who don't need anything as boring as shame. [okuni can say this because she's actually complimenting shinobu here okay!!!] And we both care about you! Though Shinobu-chan always tells me to take it easy on you, so she's definitely better than me.

[SHE'S BETTER IN A LOT OF WAYS...]

That's why I bid on her too!

b

[ittoryu]

[shigure laughs, but sure, he'll stay still.]

What did you do this time, Okuni?

[osuni]

Why do you think I did something?

[POKES HIM IN THE BACK!!!]

[ittoryu]

Am I wrong?

[osuni]

No...

[BE QUIET SHIGURE!!!]

But I really didn't mean to do anything wrong this time... It just ended up being wrong, you know?

[ittoryu]

Oh, is this about you abducting Haku? Lan Wangji is trying to hunt you down.

[osuni]

Don't say his name! You'll summon him!

[AAAAAAHH]

And how do you know about that already?!

b, blease save him from the demon children

[infinitesadness]

[ obi-wan in all his benevolent 6 foot glory only continues sipping on whatever drink he got his hands on, not even glancing at her way ]

I assume someone is out for birthday revenge?

[ the image of her massive bundle of hair just sprouting out from his shoulder is hilarious ftr ]

now it's his turn to save THEM

[osuni]

[that massive bundle of hair just trembles in INDIGNATION at the fact that Obi-wan guessed correctly right away...]

It's nothing as bad as that... [WHAT A LIE] Well. It might be, but all I have to do is avoid his line of sight... Obi-chan, is Lan Lan looking this way?

is it tho

[infinitesadness]

[ he knows you too well for this ]

I do believe he's quite angrily making his way to the opposite side of the room right now. [ hm ] What on earth did you do to make him that upset........?

does he not love these demon twins with all his heart and soul

[osuni]

[why does obi-wan know her too well for this]

...

[flashbacks to Okuni and Baren in dogeza position while Obi-Wan lectures them on the dangers of dueling with real swords in a crowded marketplace.]

All I did was take Haku with me back to the Temple so he could spend some time with Mizuki. ...But I might have forgotten to tell anyone before I took him. Maybe.

he'd like a refund on his feelings thank

[infinitesadness]

[ obi-wan closes his damned eyes and wishes for more brandy. or 1920's tylenol? whichever he finds first honestly ]

........ Okuni.

[ no wonder wangji is Ready For Murder??? ]

While I would say that's rather unsurprising, please do take more care when we're already in an elevated sense of caution.