world one: hi! welcome to chili's!

[osuni]

WHO: baren, okuni, boose the moose, and all partygoers
WHERE: Koi Pond
WHEN: 2/02
WHAT: the twins decide to throw their birthday party two days after that date auction despite all the chaos and kidnappings going on, and also okuni is supposed to be grounded but they let her out for her birthday ig. now everyone is trapped in this bar and forced to mingle.
WARNINGS: there's nudity?? but not like explicit ig, otherwise none



Everyone has most definitely received a cursed invitation in the form of a.) baren reaching out to the Mori and Neutral-aligned residents of Montevallo and b.) Okuni nagging everyone in the Xian Le and associated with the Xian Le, but REGARDLESS OF WHICH ONE YOU GET it all boils down to someone having a party at the Koi Pond tonight.

And what a party it is.

Whether you're unfortunate enough to arrive right on time or you stroll on in to stare at your surroundings like that community.gif, you'll see that the Koi Pond is decked lavishly with balloons on the wall and streamers on the floor and bright lights just about everywhere so no introverts can escape. There are tables loaded with food free of motor oil and pickle juice, music being played by a real live band, a photographer who is making it his job to get very close and in your face at every opportune moment, and a group of dancers decked with strands of pearls and feather fans and nothing much else (this is a co-ed dance troupe, we're equal opportunity here)! They sure are distracting, but they're not even close to the main attraction, no --

The real highlight of this night is Boose the Moose, wearing a glittery paper crown and placidly stepping inside the bar with two figures riding astride on top of him. yeah. it's Baren and Okuni on top their loyal steed, waving their hands at their guests like this was all planned and an elaborate attempt to trap the entire town of Montevallo in one bar.

But before you try shooting them off the moose, take the time to try a piece from the gigantic birthday cake laying resplendent on the table that has the words HAPPY BAPPY TWINS inscribed on the top!!! Incredible! Amazing!! Feel free to have a taste -- each tier is a different flavor, and some tiers are more unfortunate than others.

Now that you've found yourself enclosed in a space with either people from your enemy faction or people from two factions on the outs with one another, please take the time to greet either of the Demon Twins of Montevallo, each holding two pairs of handcuffs in each hand and gazing expectantly towards you. That or mingle at will, because someone locked the doors and windows and slid two iron bars through the handles!!

Just give up and have a good time at this terrible party... Indulge in some icebreakers!
- a plastic jar filled with strips of paper with world-breaking questions such as: If you were trapped in a burning building and could only save one person, would it be your family or your lover? or If you had to pick someone to be the last person on earth with you, would you pick Wei Wuxian or Kano? or just variations of Fuck, Marry, or Kill with different names on each slip
- a human sized dartboard for people to stand in front of and get hit by plastic darts
- the handcuff icebreaker where okuni or baren just handcuff you to someone that you now have to spend time with

As the night comes to a close, Baren and Okuni will take pity on their guests by opening the doors, just in time to set off twenty two fireworks in rapid succession right outside the bar itself.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* HAPPY TWENTY-SECOND BAPPY TWINS!!! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Comments

take one guess

[givethemhell]

[God he's probably been at least making an ATTEMPT to field Lan Wangji's chaos as his drunken shenanigans have unfolded over the night. Whether it's guiding him away from those poor dancers or making sure he doesn't topple over the stairs or attempting to shoo him away when he starts following again, he's really doing his best!!

So when he comes across him hiding behind a plant, it's really not as bad as it could be, but it still makes Wei Wuxian slap a hand over his face anyway.]

Lan Zhan, what are you doing this time? Didn't I tell you to go sit down with a glass of water?

[He definitely said that. He's said that like five times.]

I'm exhausted

[souheki]

[Congrats Wei Wuxian now you have 14 children to care about

From where he's crouched behind the plant, Lan Wangji glances surreptitiously up at him. Then he turns away and ducks his face low enough that his hair covers his expression.

He's Hiding. IF HE CAN'T SEE WEI WUXIAN THEN WEI WUXIAN CAN'T SEE HIM.]

SAME HONESTLY

[givethemhell]

[anna will be happy because it's an even number.

Also god WHYMST. Wei Wuxian crouches down as well, reaching out to tap Lan Wangji's shoulder. No hiding here! Stop!!]

Do you think I can't see you, is that it? Unfortunately for both of us, I can see you perfectly fine.

[souheki]

[STOP HE'S HIDDEN!!!

Slowly, almost like something out of a horror movie, he turns his head to peek over his shoulder through his hair, like he's checking if it's still Wei Wuxian. Then he'll just

turn around way too quickly

somehow not topple over considering he's still crouching??

and grab Wei Wuxian's tapping hand with both of his!!!

!!!

...and then just sort of stares at it like he's confused on how it got there.]

[givethemhell]

[Well that's a horrifying mental image that's going to stick with him for the rest of his life.

Anyway, he blinks down at their hands and then reaches out with his free one to pat Lan Wangji's shoulder.]

I need that hand, Lan Zhan! Come on, let's get you back to a chair. Can you stand up for me?

[souheki]

[Ah... a pat. He does that for Haku when Haku does a good job. Is he doing a good job? He wants to.]

Mm.

[He'll let Wei Wuxian help him up, surprisingly steady considering he's definitely not going to remember a damn thing tomorrow. Even once he stands up, though, he doesn't let go of Wei Wuxian's hand, continuing to hold it tightly with both of his. He's just gonna ignore the part where Wei Wuxian mentioned needing that.]

[givethemhell]

[He waits expectantly for Lan Wangji to let go of his hand for like a full 5 seconds before realizing that ah, no. No, he is not going to let it go.]

--Well, I guess one out of two is better than none out of two.

[Lan Wangji gets another pat for his good efforts, this time for his hands.]

You don't have to hold that tightly, though - it's not like I'm going anywhere. Come on, come this way.

[AWAYYY from the plant and over toward a bench. Probably the same bench he's led Lan Wangji to like fifty times tonight.]

[souheki]

[Double pats!! This is excellent.

The pats mollify him enough to follow, though he only loosens his grip enough to make sure Wei Wuxian's comfortable--or, well. As comfortable as he can be, with one of his hands commandeered. But of course this can't go that easily; as soon as they get close to the bench, he stops, digging his heels in like a rebellious child. He's also glaring? At the bench?? WHY.]

[givethemhell]

[WHY INDEED????

Wei Wuxian jerks a little when he tries to move forward and suddenly finds that he can't, glancing back toward Lan Wangji. What the fck stopped him-- Why is he glaring?? He follows his line of sight to the bench, brow furrowing immediately in confusion.]

...Do you want to sit at another bench? Is that what it is?

[souheki]

[The real reason here is that every time Wei Wuxian sits him down on this bench, he ends up leaving, if only for a little bit. So now, his drunken brain has dubbed this the "Wei Wuxian Goes Away bench". He doesn't like it when Wei Wuxian leaves, so he doesn't like this bench. SIMPLE LOGIC.

Also, if they're going on a quest for a bench, that means Wei Wuxian's going to hold his hand some more. Perfect! Exactly what he wants!]

Mm.

[Time to reject every bench in the whole building]

[givethemhell]

[oh my god i fuckin hate this

There's no way in hell Wei Wuxian would ever make the logical leap necessary to figure Lan Wangji's drunken mental gymnastics out, though, so he just chalks it up to... drunk people doing whatever they want, whenever they want, for literally no reason. Just like toddlers!]

Alright, let's go find you a better bench.

[AWAY HE GOES, leading Lan Wangji by the hand. He'll try to find one that looks a little more comfortable?? Maybe the other one was too-- lacking in cushions. Once he finds one with a few pillows, he points with his free hand.]

There! How about that?

[souheki]

No.

[He's not even pretending to look at it]

[givethemhell]

[He can feel a headache forming...]

Lan Zhan, you didn't even look! If you won't even do that, then I'll just pick a bench at random.

[souheki]

[Hm... is that what he wants? No, if Wei Wuxian picks a bench, then he might, y'know. Actually pick one. And that is not the actual goal of this adventure.

So he stares at the bench for a good thirty seconds, then looks back at Wei Wuxian.]

No.

[Better?]

[givethemhell]

[ONLY MARGINALLY BETTER. He gestures again, but with more feeling!!]

Why? Why not? What's wrong with this bench - it's a perfectly good one! Look, see? There are even cushions! What more could you want from a bench?

[PLEASE!! He'll have to start hunting down tables at this rate, if not even this pinky-out comfort bench is good enough.]

[souheki]

[His initial reaction is to just fuckin ignore everything Wei Wuxian's saying, maybe clap his hands over his ears, but Wei Wuxian's threat of just choosing somewhere random still hangs over his head, and he doesn't want to risk that. So he looks back at the bench, frowning.]

Too big.

[FOR WHAT]

[givethemhell]

[YEAH HE'LL MAKE GOOD ON HIS THREAT, DON'T TEST HIM!!

He's also just looking increasingly more perplexed. Too big??]

What do you mean? They don't make benches much smaller than this. Do you want a bar stool?

[souheki]

No.

[HE REALLY IS A TODDLER everything is just "no"

He removes one of his hands from Wei Wuxian's just long enough to gesture at the bench, as if that's supposed to help at all.]

Too big.

[What he means is that there's room for more than just him and Wei Wuxian on this bench, which is not at all what he wants!! He doesn't want anyone bothering them!!!

It occurs to him, though, that he doesn't actually need to explain this. He can walk? He's walking just fine? Why is he letting Wei Wuxian lead...]

Come. I will look.

[It wasn't a question, he's just dragging Wei Wuxian off now. He's going for the stairs to Baren's attic apartment again,,]

[givethemhell]

[AWAY HE'S DRAGGED goodbye cruel world... He at least just accepts it with an over-dramatic sigh and doesn't seem to have any qualms until he sees where they're heading. WHY IS HE SO FIXATED ON BAREN'S POOR APARTMENT.]

--A bench down here, Lan Zhan. There's nowhere to sit up there, stop that - unless it's the stairs you want to sit on, but those aren't comfortable at all!

[Maybe that's what Lan Wangji is after, though??]

[souheki]

[GOODBYE WORLD. And listen, it's because EVERYTHING DOWNSTAIRS IS TERRIBLE AND HE HATES EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!! It's honestly the rambunctious crowd that he's most uncomfortable with, especially considering half of them are supposed to be his enemies (lines drawn in sand, not set in stone, though they may be), but even that might've been tolerable if it hadn't come right on the heels of the date auction fiasco.

Of course, it's not like he's going to explain all of that while he's drunk. He's got another, much simpler reason, which takes way less effort to explain.]

I want to be alone with you.

[welp]

[givethemhell]

[WELP.

It's clearly not something Wei Wuxian expected to hear, since he stutter-steps as he trails along after Lan Wangji. WHAT. Immediately his one braincell races to make sense of this. Why would he want to be alone together?? Maybe because Wei Wuxian's brand of noise (eternally one-sided conversations) is more palatable to him than the din of a chaotic party?? Yeah, sure. That sounds logical enough.

He glances over toward some of the booths with low tables and cushions, giving Lan Wangji's hand a tug.]

How about over there, then? That's about as good as you're going to get here.

[souheki]

[The tug is enough to make him pause, and he eyes the booths critically. If Wei Wuxian insists on pulling him over there, then he'll go, but he's definitely dragging his feet. Wei Wuxian can also probably tell he's sulking.]

Not the same.

[Why can't they just go upstairs!!! It's not like he's going to carve "Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were here" into a table with his knife, maybe, probably--]

[givethemhell]

[He can tell he's sulking but also! He doesn't care!! Lan Wangji is incorrigible when he's drunk, Wei Wuxian passed the point of caring about his drunken whims a long time ago.]

No, but your only other options are those benches or the bar stools. Come on - there, see? That one in the corner isn't so bad, is it? Look, hardly anyone is over on that side of the room. Isn't that fine?

[souheki]

[INDULGE HIS DRUNKEN WHIMS WTF.

Also no, it's not fine... he'll still let Wei Wuxian pull him over, but he casts a glance at the window that can only be described as longing.]

Let's go outside.

[Is that better? Baren might be annoyed if they break a window but like? Who cares??]

[givethemhell]

[ABSOLUTELY NOT.]

You do know they've locked the windows and doors, right? We could ask one of them to let us out for a little if you really wanted, though.

[He'll reach out with his free hand to pat Lan Wangji's arm, attempting to be like .5% reassuring, at least.]