fracturarpg | intro log.

Entry tags:

! intro

intro log.

welcome mingle

( AND SO IT BEGINS. )

There's nothing but the clatter of train tracks, and the odd feeling of almost floating.

When you wake, it's hard to tell exactly what it is that you're missing - only that you are. There are pieces that aren't quite right, even if you're not sure where those pieces would normally be. Pieces of what, exactly....? Well, if you had to put a word to it, it would be - yourself, probably.

The place you've found yourself in is strange, certainly. It's probably worth exploring a bit. Though it just as easily seems that the only form of welcome or explanation that you have, comes from nothing more than a slab of marble.

Well - that, and all the people who seem to have woken up alongside you, lost and also probably Doing Their Best™.

There's no need to fret that much though. It's hard to say exactly where you're going next, even though some places might feel a little bit more like a clue, but what you do know is one unshakeable thing:

There's still much more ahead of you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Cinnamon isn't a rock but he's just letting this maniac blurt out nonsense and mix his seasonings together. This is the worst. He tentatively sniffs at it this time at least?? Not that that saves him, because he absolutely still licks it off his hand, anyway.

He's immediately making a face... And then looking considering?? He's basically just doing this.]

—Surprisingly inoffensive! That actually isn't too bad. Not sure about the pepper, but salt and sugar go surprisingly well together. Don't know why I haven't done it before!

[ It's surprising to Kano too, but all's well that ends well— and maybe he shouldn't be so surprised, if he thinks about it, because all delicious food is loaded with salt and sugar, aren't they? ]

Told you so~ Never had 'em in the little packets, right? Make 'em real convenient to carry around, and you can adjust the amount of salt and sugar too! Is the pepper no good? Maybe you should try it on the relish and see if that's any good~

[ Kano helpfully picks up a relish packet, tears the corner, and takes Wei Wuxian's hand so he can squeeze relish onto his palm. ]

[HIS HANDS ARE A MESS. WHY DOES HE KEEP LETTING KANO DO THIS!! He's so unbothered by literally any gremlin antics though that he'll just carry right along as if taste testing condiments in a magic void train is normal. Good thing there (presumably) aren't any employees around to judge them (maybe).

He'll just grab another pepper packet, ripping the corner with his teeth and gently tap-tapping it out over the relish. He'll taste that mess, too, but seems much less keen on this one.]

Mmm... Not a very winsome combination. They're both strong flavors and not very complimentary - I wouldn't suggest this one! Salt and sugar, yes. Relish and pepper, no. But pepper and mustard might be alright! Here - you should try some, too.

[JOIN HIM IN HELL.]

[ WHY DOES HE KEEP LETTING KANO DO THIS. None of this is Kano's fault. He won't accept any responsibility. But he supposes he's messed around enough, so he'll go to hell, I guess.

Kano leans over and licks Wei Wuxian's hand.

...

He's right, it's pretty terrible. ]

[THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT but you know what he's had weirder and grosser shit happen today than some stranger licking relish and pepper off of his hand. This is just his life now, he accepts it with open arms so it can't bulldoze him.]

See? I told you! It's not good at all. We'll definitely need to find something else that matches relish better because it's just going to be lonely and sad all by itself at this rate.

[Truly a tragic fate??]

[ There was no choice but his hand because Kano wasn't about to spread relish and pepper over his own. He at least has the courtesy of swallowing instead of spitting it back on Wei Wuxian's hand, which was a very real possibility. ]

Right! Okay! Operation Relish Match is a go!

[ It has to be some sort of powder, so Kano looks around for that sort of thing: there's a hot chocolate packet, cayenne powder, and the chicken flavored seasoning from a package of instant ramen. ]

Here, okay, hold out your arm...

[ Wei Wuxian's hand is already sullied with pepper, so Kano has to squeeze globs of relish onto his arm to mix and taste test with. ]

[THANKS KANO for sparing him this one thing... Even if his entire arm is about to be sacrificed to the Operation Relish Match cause. It's fine! He'll helpfully pull up his 50 million layers of enormous billowy robesleeves, and some stuff probably falls out as he does so. Like other snacks. Wrapped soft pretzels, laffy taffy, things he's scavenged from other carts...

ANYWAY. Holding very still for the condiment mixologist to get crackin.]

That one already smells like a disaster.

[The HOT CHOCOLATE ONE.]

The rest might be alright, though! What's that one - chicken? Did that say chicken? Chicken and cucumber is a nice combination, that one should be just fine!

Yeah, chicken and cucumber! Save that one for last, or you'll be biased~

[ Kano squeezes the relish on Wei Wuxian's arm, tries to empty the packets so it'l sit there in a mound instead of lightly dusting the relish, and most of it falls off anyways when Kano mixes it around with his finger. The finger gets wiped on a bare spot of Wei Wuxian's arm in between each mixing, too...

There we go. Do the hot chocolate first.

In the meanwhile, Kano will helpfully stoop to pick up the fallen snacks, and unhelpfully sticks them in his own pocket. He will not be giving them back. ]

[Wei Wuxian does not at all seem to mind the snack pilfering going on here, or the fact that his arm is now just as much of a mess as his hands. One has to be doing some Truly Nefarious Deed to actually get under his skin, and most gremlin acts never reach that level... Kano will be able to get away with SO MUCH WITH THIS SHITHEADED FERAL RACCOON MAN.

He carefully dips his pinky into the hot chocolate relish one, though. After a taste:]

...Yep! The nose doesn't lie, that one is definitely the worst thing so far. Very bad, nothing redeemable about it. Remember it in case anyone ever irritates you!

[Just feed them relish and hot chocolate and they'll immediately cry uncle.]

What's the second one, again?

[ He is enjoying this so much, when back home he couldn't even do so much as open his mouth without getting kicked in the gut and his spine nearly broken.

With the relish and hot chocolate verdict out, Kano goes ahead and pockets one of each packet so he can make the concoction for any irritating people; thanks for the advice. ]

The second's, mm, pepper but it's a different sort of pepper, 'cause look, it's red! It makes the relish look kinda pretty?

[ Prettier than grey and green, but who knows if it'll taste any better. The color is probably the only redeemable factor. ]

[THAT'S TERRIBLE, KANO. Sometimes you just gotta find fellow gremlins who Enable The Chaos. He nods approvingly when he sees Kano squirreling away his condiments for future revenge endeavors, moving on to the next pile of... arm relish.]

It does, I agree! And things with peppers are usually good, anyway. Anything can be made palatable if the spice is strong enough to numb your tongue!

[He says, as if any level of spice is enough to do that for him?? But he'll dip his finger, take a little taste - cayenne is nowhere near spicy enough for him, but he seems much more pleased about this selection.]

Not bad! It tastes a little like smoked meat? The relish is a little strange as an accompaniment, but I think anything would taste better after that first one.

[ Palatable and tongue numbing seem to be at odds with one another, but Kano can't handle spices very well, so maybe it's just him, looking disappointed for a moment before fixing his expression into something more impressed that Wei Wuxian is fine with pepper relish. ]

Looks like this combo is a win~ Those sorts of things go well together, right? Better keep a spread for when you find actual smoked meat! In the meantime, you can keep some of the, um, palatability peppers for everything else~

[ Kano picks up a single relish packet and handful of cayenne ones to stick up Wei Wuxian's sleeve, but he has no idea how it all stays up there so maybe they all slide right back out onto the floor anyways. ]

Last one up is this... dehydrated chicken thing! Can you imagine? An entire chicken, cooked and dried and ground up in a little packet of powder! All you need is one of these and some mustard and you got all your meat and veggies for the day~

[WHAT A LITTLE GREMLIN CHILD Wei Wuxian absolutely notes that disappointment and finds it hilarious... He also raises his arm as soon as Kano stuffs packets into his sleeve, so they slide back into The Void where everything rests. It's fine. His robes are a mystery and kind of horrifying.]

Haha, wouldn't it be something else if getting a meal were so simple? It would save so much time and worry!

[ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE LIKE HIM who get wrapped up in projects and just forget to eat for days on end... Tap tap! He dips in a finger to taste.]

—Salty. [FIRST AND FOREMOST.] And not actually much like chicken? I'm surprised! I thought this one would be my favorite but it's not actually that good.

Not as good as red pepper relish, huh?

[ Kano pokes a finger at Wei Xuxian's arm, but only in the chicken powder part and none of the relish to taste test. ]

Hm~ Well, food always tastes kinda different if they're processed, but, like, all the important stuff's in there! Nutrients and electrolytes or whatever.

[ He will never want for sodium in his diet if he eats a packet of this every day. Anyways, it's not meant to be eaten all by itself anyways, so Kano takes another ramen packet, removes the actual block of ramen out of the package and starts squeezing relish onto it, then opens up the fake chicken flavoring and another packet of cayenne pepper to sprinkle on top before holding it out to Wei Wuxian. ]

Carbs, meat, and veggies~ A balanced diet. You can live off this sort of stuff, and it's super lightweight and everything~

Not as good, no! How sad.

[SO SAD. He'll go fetch a napkin with his free hand, though, holding it carefully.]

Want to taste any of this before I clean up? You'd be missing out on an important life experience otherwise and that would be sad, too.

[This fuckin ramen block he's being offered looks absolutely horrific, though?! He takes it, somehow fucking balancing it on his pointer and middle finger while he keeps the napkin tucked between his thumb and the remaining two, instead of just, you know. Switching the napkin to his relish taste-testing arm or grabbing it with that.]

You really are prepared for the life of a-- train-dweller?

Sure am~ Here, I'll help you with that!

[ He will take the napkin and wipe off Wei Wuxian's arm so he can/have no choice but to enjoy the ramen monstrosity to its fullest. The napkin is going directly into the trashcan, or deposited on an empty seat the moment nobody is looking, because he absolutely does not want a taste of any of that. ]

I practically grew up in one of these places, so I know all the ins and outs of dwelling on a train~ Any secret recipes you want to know, you can always ask me!

[DON'T LITTER YOU TERRIBLE GREMLIN not that Wei Wuxian would stop him but Lan Wangji is probably out there, lurking, waiting to bring the rules hammer down on both of them.]

You grew up on a train, you mean? Sounds like an experience. You could go anywhere you wanted that way, couldn't you? Or maybe that's just this train, haha.

[This magicass train that's absolutely skewing his perception of what a train is in general... ANYWAY, he'll break off a chunk of this godawful concoction, getting crumbles of dried noodle and sprinklings of powder all over the floor. After popping it into his mouth, he hums agreeably!]

—Not good! Nope. Are these-- [WHAT EVEN ARE THEY. They looked like noodles, but hard and in a block??] -noodles supposed to be flavorless? That's a bad idea. No wonder you have to add a thousand things to it!

[ What Lan Wangji doesn't know won't hurt him... so this stays hush hush between the two of them. ]

Haha, yeah, something like that~ Are your noodles not like this? How weird!

[ He goes ahead and drops the napkin on a train seat so he can free up both his hands to break himself off a chunk of instant ramen, giving his piece a good shake so all the seasoning and relish chunks and stuff falls off and he's left with just bland teeth-breaking noodles to crunch.

He doesn't remember them being this hard, or the slightly chalky mouthfeel... ]

Mm. Yep! Train noodles are sort of just like this. If you got better noodles, maybe you can revolutionize the train noodle industry?

[A good plan but SOMEHOW... Lan Wangji just knows everything, anyway. Wild.]

No, they're much better. [Said simply... To be fair, noodles don't need to be great to be better than freeze-dried ramen, but he'll take what he can get when Ancient Fantasy China is so far behind the curve with EVERYTHING ELSE.]

--Haha, how is it without the flavors? Bland? A piece of paper would probably have more taste to it! That's not a bad idea, though - especially if we're going to be seeing a lot of this train.

[HE'S ASSUMING THEY ARE.]

[ THEY SURE ARE ]

Super bland~ You put a lot of work chewing something you can barely eat. Strengthens your jaw muscles, you know? Can't let your jaws get weak while living off food packets~

[ It'll probably be better cooked and maybe having soaked up the broth, but whatever. Wei Wuxian can have the rest of the ramen block, because Kano's already pulling back with his hands shoved into his pockets, ready to continue the food tour. ]

Anything you want to bring for the road? We're gonna visit the next car soon, so get 'em while you can!

Haha, you do have an answer for everything, don't you?

[He's impressed by the levels of punkitude in this one small body, honestly. He wonders how many people Kano pisses off on a daily basis and/or tricks into doing terrible, terrible things?? Wild.

Not about to continue gnawing on this hunk of noodle, he'll just wrap it in napkins and shove it into the front of his robes, probably to pass off on some poor unsuspecting soul later.]

Nope, this should suit me just fine! Fingers crossed that there's something nicer in the next cart. Somehow, I was quite lucky until our paths crossed!

[SOMEHOW. But he'll lead the way onward, apparently not deterred.]

Sure do~

[ He sort of prides himself in being able to talk his way out of things, although most of the time it's him opening his mouth that gets him in trouble. The number of people he pisses off is surprisingly low! Because he only interacts with like three people on a daily basis. It's all fine.

He follows on after Wei Wuxian, sliding the door closed behind him before stepping into the next car. Every surface is made of metal, slick and shiny and kind of hard to look at. Not a very warm atmosphere at all. ]

Eh... Wonder what kinda food they have here?

[ Let's see if Wei Wuxian's luck holds up. Kano hops over to the snack cart the moment he lays his eyes on it, and pulls out......!!

It's freeze dried ice cream. ]

[At least he manages to avoid getting his ass whooped by an angry mob that way! Sometimes it's best to just have three people you interact with on a daily basis and throw the towel in there while you're still ahead and in one piece.

BUT ONWARD, TO THE NEXT CAR. He's. He's got no idea what this is. Stupidly, ice cream does exist in his world THANKS CORNETTOS. But freeze dried ice cream looks nothing like what he's used to?? He leans forward, poking at the bag.]

Is this edible? Why are people so obsessed with shoving their snacks into shiny wrappers too, goodness.

[He's a fan, though.]

Shiny wrappers and pretty and crinkly and make things more fun to eat!

[ He picks up one of the packages and gives it a little shake so they can enjoy the crinkly noise— but that also makes the ice cream start to crumble inside the package, whoops. Now it's in easy to share pieces. ]

Here, here, give it a try~ It's ice cream, so it's like...

[ ...salty

is his first impression when he pops a piece into his own mouth while holding the package out to Wei Wuxian. Apparently freeze dried ice cream can be weirdly salty, weirdly light, and weirdly crumbly. ]

Well, you're not wrong about that! I think I'd like it if all of my food came in shiny wrappers. Maybe I can work on that once I get back!

[Bringing foil and freeze dried ice cream to ancient fantasy China...

But he'll reach forward to fish a piece out of the bag, too! If it's ice cream, he's excited!! ...And summarily disappointed when it turns out to be so weird.]

—Is it? You know, some things about this place are great, but they really can be hit and miss with the food. The fried dough is so good, but this is so... [SO......] --Well! Variety keeps life exciting and all, I guess.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject